Rape
by Ivycat
Summary: "When you have been through an experience like mine, painful memories do not need a trigger, they are ever present in the front of my mind, a constant companion to ever breath I take." Deals with Adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**All characters belong to L.J. Smith and the WB. No copyright infringement is intended. The lines spoken as Damon and Elena are about to enter her house were written by the writers of the WB show, they are not my own.**

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**This deals with the episode where Stefan is trapped in the tomb with Katherine.**

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_**A.N. This fiction will soon have an 'M' rating. Adult situations will be dealt with. Please be advised now, I know I have no control over your actions, but, please, if you are a minor, respect my wishes and do not read.**_

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Chapter one

**Rape © Ivycat 2009  
**

On the drive back to Mystic Falls from Richmond Elena leaned her head back against the seat of the car watching as the scenery blurred by. Damon was traveling fast, much to fast as a matter of fact, but then he always did. She gave a discrete tug at her seatbelt to make sure it was still fastened securely.

She stifled a sigh. The last few days had been hard, filled with adrenaline and danger and Elena could feel exhaustion trying to push its way to the front of her mind. She resolutely pushed it back. She was fine, she could take this. After all, she was strong enough to try and sacrifice herself to save her family and friends. She took a breath, exhaling slowly, hoping to relieve the migraine that was starting to form. She wished that she could ask for some aspirin, but Damon was still in a fury over her stunt in Richmond and she knew if he detected the slightest weakness in her he would use that as an excuse to torment her further. He would most assuredly see a headache as weakness. He was especially vicious with his digging comments if he was angry, and he was beyond angry right now, she had seen that when she tried to slap him. She took a quick look out of the corner of her eye at his stony profile. There was no change in his posture, the only thing that actually had moved since the start of the drive was his hands on the wheel. She was not even sure if he had blinked.

She would have rather not have had to ride back with him, but since Rose had fled she was short a ride, and the taxi fare would have been a year's allowance for her.

For a fleeting moment she thought about breaking the tense silence, but then tightened her lips and turned towards the window and stared at the countryside rolling by. He had offended her by calling her out on her hysterics and overly dramatic reaction to finding out about Klaus. How dare he call her stupid, treat her as a child that was behaving recklessly? Why was she not allowed to decide her own fate?

They continued their mutual 'ignore each other' understanding, at least till they reached Elena's house. As Elena went up the stairs to the door she gave a deflated sigh,

"Damon, thank you for giving me a ride home."

He looked sour and shrugged, "Well, your ride left you. I did not want to leave you stranded."

"She was just scared; she didn't mean to run." Elena defended.

"Yes she did." His voice was like a splash of icy water on her. "She has been running for five hundred years." His eyes were hard, angry, but he was also telling the truth, she knew that, and at that moment it only served to fuel her irritation with him.

Then, stopping a good quarrel in the making, Jeremy cracked the door open and looked at the pair of them squaring off on the door step. He was feeling incredibly guilty. The monumentalness of his stupidity in creating the situation that had ended in trapping Stefan in the cave with Katherine was washing over him in waves. He knew it was his fault, and he knew that soon Elena would start to blame him for it.

He took a breath, looking over at Elena. "It's Stefan…"

* * *

Elena's heart beat as if it were trying to escape her chest and distance herself from the pain she was in. She knew she had lost it in the tomb with Damon, she could see that now. But it was impossible, heart rending, infuriating. It was a completely convoluted situation. How cruel was the universe? First she fell in love with a vampire, as if that was not enough of an obstacle, she found she was adopted, a Doppelganger, and somehow, a psycho- vampire magnet. Then her family was endangered because of her, and when she decided to end the threat in the most direct, head on way she could, that failed, and while she was there Stefan got thrown into the tomb and would be there for the foreseeable future. Bile rose in her throat, she thought she would gag. She coughed and retched, leaning against a tree for support.

She just couldn't take it anymore. Hence her melt-down. Though, come to think of it, her entire past forty-eight hours had been a series of melt-downs. I mean, really, who decided to go willingly into being a ritual sacrifice? There was nothing remotely logical about that. She bit her lip and looked at her feet No wonder Damon was in such a rage there was obviously no room for any one else's instabilities in his life other than his own.

She took a deep breath, looking around the forest; there was no sign of Damon, for all she knew he had left her after he had talked to Stefan. Although she knew, given his past pattern of behavior that wasn't a likely scenario, on the other side of that, he was so erratic and unstable that she had no idea just WHAT he might be doing.

She straightened up and rolled her neck. She was stiff and uncomfortable; sitting in a fury for a four hour drive was not good for the muscles, it produced a lot of tension.

She started to turn towards the car, but then hesitated and decided to walk; she needed time to clear her head. In a moment of rationality she knew she needed to let Damon know what she was going to do. She called out,

"Damon?"

There was no answer in the still deepness of the forest. She had been right, he had left her, well, it was a long walk, but then who knew, maybe that was just what she needed. It would be refreshing after her long drive. Refreshing, just what she needed…

She had walked for about twenty minutes till she grew more and more fatigued with every step, then, she paused thinking it all over, if Damon was not there at the tomb then why could she not go back and persuade Stefan to see her and talk to her? Without a second thought she turned on her heel and retraced her steps.

It was getting harder and harder to make every step, but Elena doggedly persevered. It was getting darker and blacker every passing second but Elena was able to retrace her way to the tomb by sheer instinct aided by the memory of her years playing in the area. She felt her way down the stairs. The air was cool and damp, filled with a sour musty smell that reminded her of crushed dreams. She bit her lip in a moment of uncertainty.

"Stefan?"

Her voice echoed and bounced around the room giving it a disembodied tone. It was eerie, spooky, suddenly she was filled with a sense of doom. Something awful was about to happen, she just knew it. Suddenly she was filled with fear. She, who had not been afraid all day, was now afraid over… nothing. Her feet scuffing the leaves sounded unnaturally loud in the stillness. She strained her eyes into the darkness, as if she could will her eyes to pierce the gloom.

"Stefan, I know you can hear me…" There was not a sound except for the ragged sound of her breaths.

"Stefan, why won't you talk to me? What have I done? Stefan? Please, please, Stefan, please, just speak to me." Her voice quavered and she felt as if she would cry. She refused to permit herself the weakness.

"Stefan! Dammit! Just come out and talk to me, please!" Her voice rose to a higher pitch the more frantic she became.

There was a theatrical sigh from the dark recess of the cave.

"Oh, for the love of God, Stefan, go over there and get her to shut up, I am _trying_ to get some sleep!"

There was nothing.

"Stefan!" Elena took a tentative step towards the invisible barrier that separated them.

"GO AWAY!" Katherine was losing the modicum of patience she possessed.

For a moment Elena thought of threatening to go in the entrance, of forcing him to see her, but then, she had the feeling that she had pushed her luck enough for one day. Besides, he was only doing this for her good, right? This would not be the first time he had tried to cut himself off from her to protect her.

That was it, right?

"Fine then, I cannot force you to see me, but I know you are there and you have to hear me. Stefan. I am going to work with Bonnie; we will find a way to get you out of this. I know it is hard I, I will be fine, I love you Stefan."

There was a gagging sound from back as Katherine expressed her displeasure.

" Stefan?"

Silence. She willed him to come speak to her with all her might, but the tomb was still.

"Okay, Fine then. Good night, Stefan."

She paused, holding her breath, counting seconds under her breath, when she got to twenty she exhaled; she was not going to get anything out of him tonight.

She turned and ascended the stairs stumbling over the uneven stones, it was late, or early, and she was tired, so tired, if the ground had not been wet from last night's rain and if it had not been quite as cold, she might have considered sleeping in entrance to the tomb. Not that that was morbid or anything, she thought to herself sarcastically. Sleeping in a tomb, normal right? Others did that… If they were seriously disturbed or something, or, if their boyfriend was trapped inside of one by a witches curse.

Then a moment of weariness overcoming her distaste of the damp ground she sank down on the top step of the entrance. What did all of this accomplish, why the running and elaborate ruses? She was tired of running, all the elaborate games of strategy that Damon kept coming up with.

That was all this was to him, wasn't it? A diversion, something to pass the time that weighed so heavily on him. A thrilling game of epic proportions, only it was her life that was the pawn, being pushed back and forwards, this way and that.

She pulled her knees up to her chin and hugged them tightly. She was tired; she could feel her energy level decreasing.

She was not ready to face the long cold walk back to her home. In fact she did not want to be there at all for that meant dealing with her brother.

She wished that she had her diary with her. It always helped her to calm down her thoughts on paper. Sometimes she could feel a need to capture things that she saw and put them in writing, a color, or a word, maybe a thought, would inspire her and she had to put it down, develop it into a idea and then she had the need to write it, had to write it.

She closed her eyes, pretending that she was going to compose an entry into her diary.

_Dear diary, today has been terrible, my idea didn't work out well at all. Instead of being my ally, Rose betrayed me to Damon after I had reached out to Klaus. He came to take me back; I have never seen him in such a rage, not even when he killed Jeremy. I refused and I thought for a moment he might kill me… which would've been ironic you know, since he had come to try and keep me safe from Klaus._

_Then Elijah came I was certain I was dead, but then, just like that, he vanished… He saw me, but just ignored me._

_I had to ride back with Damon. Long and tense, let's just leave it at that._

_Then when I got home, I got the news. I had forced a chain of events by my actions that lead to Stefan being trapped in the tomb with Katherine. All to save my silly, stupid, brave brother from her._

_But now he is lost to me, maybe forever._

_I fought Damon when he tried to stop me from seeing Stefan, and now Stefan refuses to speak to me, which brings me to why I am here, composing this in my imaginary diary, on the entry steps to the tomb._

_I feel completely lost, alone. I'm furious with Jeremy right now; I don't even think that I can stand to see him._

_What am I to do? Where do I go? Stefan? Where is Stefan? I need him. Why won't he just come out and talk to me instead of hiding from me?_

Elena's eye's fluttered as the day took its toll on her. Her thoughts grew fuzzy and she struggled to keep awake.

Her entire body was achy, her head heavy.

She leaned her head against the cold stone of the side of the crumbling wall. It smelled heavily of decay, old moss and rotting wood. There was a light zephyr of stale air eddying up from the cavern below. Not a pleasant place to sleep at all, but Elena wanted to stay as close to Stefan as she could, and she was too exhausted to walk back to the house.

She dozed.

She woke to being prodded none too gently by a boot.

"Wakey, wakey!" She squinted around the darkness.

"Who?" her voice was rough, throat sore from the cold air.

"Come on, get up." Damon's voice was flat. He held out his hand to her, offering to assist her to her feet.

She ignored it and proceeded to pull herself up on her own. Damon shrugged.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why are you sleeping at the entrance of a church cellar?" he countered.

"I'm not in the mood for games tonight Damon." Elena said wearily, "Just tell me what you want."

"I'm here to pick you up and take you home, I was giving you time to finish sulking and get yourself together. Come on, let's go."

Elena narrowed her eyes, resenting the presumption in his tone.

"And what? If I don't are you going to throw me over your shoulder like some hairy Neanderthal?"

He narrowed his eyes back at her, "If necessary, yes, that is a definite option."

"I think I'd rather stay here for a while."

"Well, _I think_ you should come home with me, so that's what you are going to do."

"Always so sure of yourself, I'm not going Damon, not right now you need to accept that I am not always your pawn to be moved about with no regard. Now go on back and leave me alone."

There was a moments pause, if it had been anyone other than Damon she would have thought the person trying to keep their temper.

"Elena, I know you think your little world is coming apart and you are the only one in the world that is having problems, but believe me, others are affected too. How bad do you think you are making my brother feel by sitting vigil out here? Now come on, you look like a Smurf, so unless you think Stefan would like blue girl friend you need to get warmed up."

"I'm not cold!" muttered Elena stubbornly.

"Oh, that's good Elena," Damon snickered with false amusement.

"Seriously, my brother is a better liar than you. And he sucks."

"Is this funny to you, Damon? Is all this just a joke, more fuel for your sarcasm and one liners?"

"A. My brother being trapped with Katherine isn't a joke. And B. I don't need fuel for my devastating wit; it's a natural talent. Now, get up and come on. I'm not going to stand here arguing with you all night."

Elena gave in and started walking towards the car, not because Damon had bullied her into it, but because she suddenly felt worn and thin, like a frayed rubber band that was about to snap. But Damon was not aware of her reason; he just assumed that his arguments had won her over. He walked beside her, a bounce in his step, his mercurial attitude restored. He thought about starting a conversation, but then decided against it. Elena did not exactly look like a stimulating sparring partner at the moment.

They traveled the whole way back to her house in silence. When Damon parked he got out and walked around to her side of the door to escort her to the door, again he offered his hand but Elena again ignored it. She had a slightly petulant look on her face, but she did not object as he opened the door to her house. He turned his head inquiringly as she passed, taking a quick whiff of her sent, it was wrong, soured almost, he involuntarily wrinkled his nose as she went by. Elena noticed the change of expression on his face

She glared at him, "I'm sorry I have been in a sweaty car all day, I'm going to take a shower when I get upstairs. Not all of us can go all day and never break a sweat." She said acidly.

"Hey, I never said anything." He paused, it was not sweat, it was something else, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh yes, never better" Her tone was glacial.

Damon took a breath displaying an unwonted amount of self-control.

"I will be watching outside tonight. Get some sleep."

His voice was light but his tone warned her against trying to sneak past him to visit Stefan. She knew that, and they both knew that she knew.

She nodded and shut the door.

As she was at the top step Jeremy opened his door, he had been waiting up.

"Elena… I am SO sorry…"

Elena looked at her brother, "Jeremy, just… don't, Okay? Not tonight."

He nodded dejectedly and stepped back in his room. Elena went into her room, then the bathroom. She turned on the faucet and ran a very warm bath, then slipped off her dirty creased clothes and into the water. Involuntarily, her eyes teared up, the bath salts she had always used used were the ones Stefan made her, the smell of vervain made it impossible not to think of him. She picked a bubble bath instead watching as they filled the tub, then with a sigh she removed her locket, staring at it dangling from her fingers swinging back and forth. Then she set it on the side of the tub and sank up to her neck in the water.

But making it all worse was the certainty that as bad as things were now, despite all that had happened to her, there was a storm on the horizon that was waiting to consume her, and it would make her present suffering inconsequential by comparison.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**By Ivycat**

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_Warnings; Not suitable for children, non-con, violence, language, adult situations._

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When Elena awoke she was chilled to the bone. She looked around her in groggy disorientation. There was a splashing sound and as she looked down she saw she was in the tub. Had she really fallen asleep in here? That was alarming. She could have drowned. Shaking her head at the notion she hastily got out of the now ice cold water, shivering. She wrapped herself in a towel and hurried into her bed, needing to get warm as soon as possible.

As she lay in the bed the past events played before her, but the one that kept incessantly replaying was the cold empty tomb, her calling and calling to Stefan, and his stubborn refusal to respond.

She tossed in bed angrily; sleep refusing to come despite her weariness. Frustrated she sat up, then went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas and put them on. Something was wrong, there was an anxiety washing over her that she could not place, her chest tightened in response, she made up her mind to go down and fix a cup of tea to try and relax, though maybe not vervain tea, she thought wryly to herself.

She quietly went down the steps and entered the kitchen; she filled the kettle and sat down waiting for the water to heat.

There, that was it. The anxiety, the tightness in her chest, the feelings of foreboding, it was her old enemy from childhood, asthma.

A feeling of relief washed over her, the whole feeling of foreboding was explained, it was no dire supernatural precognition, it was a purely physical reaction to an illness. Hyper responses of her fight-or-flight instinct to the respiratory constriction.

That was good; the tea would help with that. Idly she wondered if she even knew where her inhaler was anymore, she had not had to use it in years. In fact, she had thought she was over it, had hoped that her days suffering from the most un-cool of illnesses was over, She had not even had an attack for over two years, but such a cure it seemed was not her luck.

There was a sudden eruption of impatient whistling from behind her signaled that her water was ready. She poured a cup, and then carried it up to her room, settling herself into her bed and pulling a warm blanket over her, sipping the tea, enjoying the warmth of the warm soothing tea on her sore throat. She was probably going to get some kind of a cold from her caper tonight; she had the achy sluggish feeling that was the usual herald. She sighed in irritation; a cold was one thing she did not need. Then finishing the tea, she put the cup on the night stand and slipped under her covers again. This time, aided by the tea, she slipped into an uneasy sleep.

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_It was hard to breathe; the air was dense, thick with her carbon dioxide. There was a vise on her head that made thinking hard. This was just a dream. She had to wake up. "Come on, Elena", she exhorted herself "WAKE UP!"_

But awakening from her dream was even more disorienting, she was cramped, her limbs twisted in unnatural positions that caused jolts of pain to soot through her at every bump.

She was surrounded with the smell of old rubber and gasoline, and the heavy metallic odor of motor oil.

Her eyes widened in the darkness as her position dawned on her.

No, no no, no! She was trapped in what was unmistakably the trunk of a car. The road noise and flashing red lights from the driver applying the brakes to the vehicle all pointed to that conclusion.

It had all been real, the stuffy air, the ferocious head-ache, not a dream, very, very, real. How had she gotten here? How had she been moved from her room without being awakened?

"Hey!" Elena started yelling, kicking at the back seat. Hoping to attract attention from a passerby or driver. Her abductor must have heard her, for suddenly the car started swerving erratically, sending her rolling around in the trunk. She braced herself as well as she could, then she remembered, wasn't there an emergency release on all the trunks now days? Once the car had stopped careening around, she wriggled around till her hands were able to grasp at the area where the latch would have been. There was nothing there; it must have been removed already. The rough ridges of a file were very noticeable as she ran her fingers over where it should have been.

"Argh!" Elena cried out in frustration, she tried resuming her efforts to kick down the back seat. Suddenly the car swerved and fishtailed onto a dirt road, the gravel pinged and ricochet of the under carriage with a staccato sound.

Elena kept kicking at the seat, but nothing happened. She felt around for her phone, but then remembered that it was probably still sitting on the bed side table. Her pajamas did not have any pockets so there was no chance that her phone had gotten taken with her.

Her fear escalated, to near panic, her breaths coming in quick gasps, she could feel the muscles in her chest slowly tightening, her lungs aching and burning as she struggled for air. This was not good; she knew she had to calm herself down. She could not let the fear take her.

She forced her mind to other things, the family trip to Disney Land, how at four Jeremy had cried and refused to go near any of the costumed characters, how he howled when their mother had tried to take him near for a photo shoot. She knew he still got the chills whenever he heard Donald Ducks quacky voice. She smiled, she had never ever let on that she knew he was still terrified of a cartoon duck. She thought of Stefan, of the moments of happiness she had with him, the time he had taken her to the top of the Ferris wheel, she focused on the peace of those memories, and in response she could feel a slight relaxation in the constriction of her lungs. But her forced tranquility did not last long as her mind kept rapidly returning to the questions of who had abducted her and why. Was it one of Klaus's minions? Elijah? Who was after her now? Did Damon and the others know where she was? Did they even know she was missing yet? How long had she been out? The questions kept piling up on themselves, but there was never any answer to them.

As near as she could tell it was about twenty minutes later that the car started to slow down. It then turned onto an even bumpier road, and then it stopped. Elena grew still, ears straining to hear what was happening. The driver slammed the door and walked around to the trunk and she heard the snap of the automatic trunk opener as it was remotely unlocked. Elena instantly sat up, alert, every sense tuned to finding a means of escape.

It was very dark out, there was no moon and Elena could not see her abductor clearly, only a vague shadow of a person.

"Who are you?" She asked, struggling to keep her voice even.

There was no response, she was gripped firmly from behind, under her arms, being hauled out of the trunk none too gently. She gasped as her bare feet made contact with the icy ground.

"What do you want?" She asked, trying once again to elicit a response from her abductor.

There was still no answer, she looked around, there were no lights, no buildings that she could see, nowhere to run and hide The darkness surrounded her, almost seeming to reach out and embrace her in its velvety arms.

Then she was roughly dragged, backwards, her heels scraping painfully on the rocks on the road. She struggled and writhed to escape his grasp, but she was unable to break free. She was now certain that it was a vampire who had her; no human could have managed to have not been thrown off balance by her thrashing, and the arms that restrained her were cold, too cold for a human.

Then, her arms were yanked above her head and a rope secured around her wrist. Elena yelped in pain as the rope bit down hard on her skin. Then there was a sudden tug that pulled her all but off her feet, only leaving her toes scraping the ground, Elena could feel the rough scraping of bark against her back, with a chilling realization it hit her that she had been strung up in a tree.

"Who are you? What do you want?" She tried again. Her voice rising in fear.

Then, for the first time her captor spoke.

"Who I am is irrelevant, and as far as what I want, it is quite simple, I want to pay back an old, very old score, and you, human, are the surest means to that end."

His voice was well modulated, with a tinge of British accent. Smooth, low, not at all threatening as one would have expected from a sinister kidnapper.

"What? Who?" Elena was confused. "I do not understand."

"There's not to question why, there's but to do or die."

Elena shook her head; he was not making any sense. She knew it was poetry, and that she should have read it in school, but could not place it.

"Please." She tried another tack, "Whatever you want, this can not the best way to accomplish it. Can't we talk about it?"

There was no response to her plea. She twisted around, swinging on the chain she was suspended from, looking about for her abductor. She still could not see anything in the blackness.

Then her head was snapped to the side as a hand made contact with her face, giving off a vicious sounding snap.

She gave a sharp cry of surprise and pain. The attack was totally unexpected, and was made even more disorienting by the fact that that she could not see anything.

But the pain did not stop there, other blows joined in quick succession she was being struck with a hard wooden object, Elena writhing and screaming following each one as she experienced the agony of her bones giving way and fracturing from the blows, her soft tissue swelling from the abuse. The brutal attack only came to an end when there was a splintering sound, followed by cursing, the bat had broken.

Elena used the respite to catch her breath, and noticed her face was wet with tears.

Then there came the sound that sent chills of terror down her back. An ordinary, everyday sound that one heard almost every day, one that did not usually incite fear and terror in her.

The sharp snap of a popped button and the gliding, metallic sound of a zipper being lowered.

Her brain tripped into overdrive, panic at the wheel.

But it seemed as if her body was frozen, immobile, she tried to breathe, but it seemed as if in her panic she had forgotten how. She felt a searing pain from her side, her body protesting the lack of oxygen.

She felt her clothes being pulled off her, felt the burn of the fabric as it was ripped violently across her skin. She could tell she was screaming, but her voice was so hoarse it was almost unrecognizable as her own.

Then, nothingness, nothing except for a cold, tense realization of the inevitable. But mercifully, all emotion seemed to be suspended, as if someone had hit a 'pause' button inside her mind.

It seemed to her that the world around her still kept time, but she was frozen, her last thoughts and emotions were of that time bubble she was suspended in. She held herself tense for a moment, fearing that real time would ensue, that it might start up, that she would have to resume feeling again. But it did not.

From the frosted glass that protected her mind she knew she was being raped. Her mind distantly registered the cold, angry hands on her breasts, the far off agony of her neck being torn into and mauled the excruciating pain of having her blood drawn against her will.

Then came the final humiliation, the humiliation of feeling her body taken, used as another's plaything. The burning pain, the unrelenting agony as he thrust himself in and out, in and out, that part of the nightmare seemed to go on for hours. Then mercifully the loss of blood and pain were enough to release her, to give her temporary reprieve from the hell she was in. Darkness embraced her but this time she welcomed it.

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**The next chapter will be moved up to 'M'. Thank you for your reviews! I hope you like this, it was SO hard to write!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**By Ivycat**

How long does a second span? In the time that the physicists have measured, it is defined as the oscillations of a caesium atom. But for Elena it became a moment that stretched into infinity. And a infinite amount of pain was conducted in an infinite measurement of time.

She was not sure how long she had been unconscious, she was aware of excruciating pain in her arms; her full body weight had been suspended by her arms while she was unconscious. She gave a muffled groan and started kicking her feet, desperate to find purchase, traction to be able to stand, if only on her toes.

At first she was not able to do more than scuff the ground with her toes, but then, after a few agonizing seconds she was finally able to relieve the unrelenting pressure on her arms. She looked around; there was nothing around except the eternal blackness.

She felt a chill, no, it was so much more than that, she was almost numb with cold, then as she felt the icy breeze eddying around her she realized that she was stripped of all her clothes. She began to shiver, the intense cold blurring into pain, pain that soon coalesced into white, everything became white surrounded by sparkles.

She did not realize it was snowing.

Then, there was the heavy sound of a vehicle approaching. She began to try and shout, but her voice was diminished to a raspy whisper.

Then the tones of her abductor, irritated.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Is she alive? Is she hurt?" The new voice was frantic.  
"I called but there's no reception in this god-forsaken place. Is she alive?" The voice was panting and nervous

"More or less, what is wrong? Why have you come?" Her captor was sharp and impatient.

"Did you hurt her? Oh, god, tell me she'll live."

Her captor replied something, his voice fading into the wind.

"We got it all wrong, why Elijah wanted her. She was to be given to Klaus." The voice was growing shriller and more panicked as he talked.

"What the FUCK! Why did you not tell me this before?" The fear was evident in his voice.

"I,I didn't know, but you see, its not all bad. You only raped her right? She's still alive?"

"Are you serious? Do you think that KLAUS will be a good sport about it? 'Oh, of course I hold no hard feelings, you were only trying to score off Elijah when you raped the girl I was after. It's all good man!' Not bloody likely, is it now? Oh god, we are dead, we are totally dead, screwed, done, finites."

No, no, no, calm down, listen to me. He wants her for a spell; she's the key, a Petrova Doppelganger. With her Klaus can break the spell of the sun and moon.

We could all be day walkers! OK, think, we can fix this. She is just hurt right? So we just give her some blood, compel her, and hey presto, nothing happened. We can do this, we just throw this one back in the sea and let Klaus catch her. No one has to know we were here. It's all good."

She was aware that if she had any feelings left she would have been enraged at the uselessness, the senselessness of it all. It was a mistake, this was all a mistake. She was aware that the vampires were approaching her. She twisted and writhed attempting to get away.

The unknown one paused. "You'd better do it, you've fed more recently, I don't think I could do it without killing her."

There was a furious tumult in her mind as she struggled to come to grips with what was happening. Tried desperately to clear the fog in her mind, but she could not.

Then, an icy hand was on her, she jerked in response.

_I am sorry this was short. I got a little low because of a reviewer comment and lost my inspiration. So here you go, hope you like it. _


	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

**By Ivycat**

* * *

_It was hard to breathe; the air was dense, thick with her carbon dioxide. There was a vise on her head that made thinking hard. This was just a dream. She had to wake up. "Come on, Elena", she exhorted herself "WAKE UP!"_

* * *

Her eyes snapped open. The sun was shining brightly into her window, too brightly, she looked at her clock, it read 9:32 AM. She swung her legs over the bed hastily; she had to get to school! Then she remembered, this was the weekend. That was good, because her throat felt as if she had been gargling nails; school was not a place she wanted to be at the moment. Then, she remembered, something horrible had happened, something that was so bad she did not want to recall it.

What notion could be so black?

Stefan, Stefan was trapped inside the tomb with Katherine. That was it! With a gasp she grabbed her jacket and pulled it over her pajamas, she swiped the keys from the hall table and ran to the car, her hands were shaking so badly that it took three tries to insert the key into the ignition. The third time she was just about to turn on the engine when suddenly she was yanked out of the car, she was pressed backwards bending at an uncomfortable angle, Damon's nose mere millimeters from her own.

"Well, if it is not the little lost sheep? Do you mind telling me where the HELL you have been?" His blue eyes were wide and held hers in a furious stare, the veins in his neck showing prominently. He was livid. Elena strained her head back from his till it almost touched the roof of the car.

"What are you talking about?" She rasped out, and then frowned; her voice was really shot to hell. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. Maybe she should have opted for a scarf as well…

"What am I talking about? I am talking about you pulling your little disappearing act a few nights ago. So help me, Elena, I am going to start following you everywhere, never letting you out of my sight. So what is your story? What harebrained idea did you come up with this time?"

Elena pushed back against him, " Yet again, I have no idea what you are talking about! Get out of my face, Damon; I am going to see Stefan."

"No, you are not. He asked that I keep you away from there. Of course he always was an optimist. But that is beside the point. Damn it Elena! Do you have ANY idea how frantic Jeremy, Bonnie and Alaric have been? Jeremy has been sure that you some how did manage to turn yourself over to Klaus. I almost had to put him under a suicide watch; of course, I noticed that as he never took off his ring he was not quite there yet.

I have been trying to track you down using your little friend's witchy Juju, and believe me when I say I would rather have had an aneurism. Come to think of it, I actually did, several times in fact.

So tell me._ Where. Have. You. Been.?" _His tone was glacial.

Elena shook her head, "I am not in the mood for your games Damon, get out of my way, I told you I am on my way to see Stefan." He released his grip on her a fraction, but still did not back away.

"You can't." His tone was curt.

Elena scowled,

"Damon, you cannot use this to keep us apart, you know that, I have made it clear, I care for you, but I love Stefan, nothing will ever be able to change that. Now, stop acting like a child and get out of my way, or don't, whatever, you will just regenerate if I run you down in the car."

Damon looked down at her his haughty face unreadable.

"Fine." He clipped his eyes growing dark and hooded, stepping back and letting her straighten up. She slid in the car hastily, putting it into reverse, leaving tire marks beside Damon. He never moved from his spot on the drive way. Oh God, she hurt all over. She must really be coming down with one hell of a bug.

She drove as close to the church as she could, then got out and walked the rest of the way. She paused a moment, steadying herself before she went down to try and get Stefan to talk. Once she was confident that she could remain composed and rational she stepped forward to go down the steps. Her foot would not cross the entrance to the stairs. She frowned, mystified, tried again, but her foot just seemed to become paralyzed when she tried to push it in. She tried her hand; it too would not enter the threshold.

"No!" She raged as she realized what had happened. "No, No, no,no,no!"

Then she turned into the whipping wind and croaked out. "DAMON!"

As hoarse as her voice was he still heard her, and in a few seconds stepped out from behind some trees.

"I told you. I told you that you cannot go in." his blue eyes looked almost pityingly at her.

"Damon, what have you DONE?" Elena gasped out wildly.

"I cannot take credit for this;" his voice was sober for once "it was actually Bonnie's idea. If I did not know better I would think she was sorry for me having to try and keep you out, per Stefan's request. It was HER idea to spell the entrance to you so you could not get in."

"But why? " Tears were threatening to fall. Her voice sounded like a tired child's, "Why can't I see him?"

"Hmm, let me see, sociopathic Doppelganger…? I don't know Elena, Why do YOU think that Stefan would not possibly want you down there?" His tone was belittling.

"But she can't even get out!" Elena snapped out as she stepped forward.

Damon sighed, tired of the debate.

"Look, you probably need to be at school or something, I am sure your friends can't cover for you forever, though, really, I am not so sure it was much of a lie, you are clearly sick, and you smell the least appetizing I have ever known you to be."

"I am fine, Damon, and it is Sunday, no school for those of us to who time actually matters."

"Try Monday." He parried, but his eyebrows lowered and he looked at with concentration, almost bordering on concern.

"No way, stop trying to screw with me." She pulled out her Blackberry and studied the screen.

"Huh?" She did a double take it stated unequivocally that today was indeed Monday. "I don't understand."

She looked up uncertainly at Damon, confused.

"But, where, how?"

"That is what I would like to know." He said, irritation lacing his tone.

"I, I need to get back." She said hoarsely. He nodded curtly and stepped back to let her pass.

"I'll drive." His tone left no room for argument. She nodded and got into the car.

By the time she was halfway back to the house she was shivering spasmodically, her breathing labored and ragged.

Damon kept looking at her in a side long fashion, it was very clear that she was ill. It must be the flu, he had suspected it the night he drove her home. She certainly looked miserable.

It was very apparent that she was under the weather when she got out of the car; Damon almost winced in sympathy for her as she stiffly got out of the car. He turned off the ignition and got out.

She looked at him and scowled crossly, "What, decided that you were not going to continue home?"

He looked at her in amusement, "I was driving your car, remember?"

She looked chagrined for a moment, and then shrugged. "I do not think I feel very well, I am going to go to bed."

"I think that is one of the best ideas I have heard from you in a while. I will be down-stairs making you some chicken noodle soup and hot tea."

Elena shook her head. "I am fine, I do not really need a watch dog, I just want to crawl in bed and die."

"Seriously? You went missing, you claim to have no idea what happened, now you are sick… sorry, I think I am sticking around for a while. Just go on back to bed; you won't even know I am here! After all, I am just your friendly neighborhood German Shepherd." He muttered the last under his breath not intending her to hear. Elena heard his remark, and the resentment in his tone. "Stop being so bitter. I never asked you to stay."

He turned his tone suddenly light and mocking. "But I do bitter so well!"

"Whatever." She turned on her heel and went up the stairs without a second look.

* * *

She slid in bed shivering miserably. Thankfully she soon drifted off into sleep, and when Damon knocked on her door to let her know the soup was ready she was sound asleep. He cracked the door open a fraction and saw she was dead to the world. He decided not to wake her and went down the stairs to read.

_It was dark, so dark. She was terrified; she was running from something, something terrifying and enormous. She was screaming, or rather, trying to, but could not make a sound. Then she was pinned down, a terrible weight on her chest, she was suffocating, she could not breathe…_

Elena woke in a cold sweat, sticky and uncomfortable, then she realized that the reason her dream had seemed so immediate and real was that, in part, it was true.

She could not breathe; she wheezed and struggled for air, fighting the asthma, nothing mattered, only breathing mattered. As she lay there the universe folded in on itself, there was only her and her need for the next breath in it, all else was trivial and unimportant.

Her chest began to burn and her lungs ached with the strain, she struggled with sitting up, this was serious, she had to get help, soon. She reached for the phone, but knocked it down off the night stand, she swore softly, and reached for it again. Before she could pick it up Damon was retrieving it. He took a grip on her shoulder and pushed her till she was in a sitting position again.

"Da,da, Damon", she wheezed out, grateful for his appearance.

"Whoa, you do not sound so good." He turned his eyes on her, scanning her in concern.

"Need air…"

Damon looked at a loss. He was not sure what to do, should he get her to a hospital? Did he have the time? Her lips were turning a bluish purple, which was not good. He quickly dialed Bonnie's number and sent a SOS. That done, he reached over to the girl who was struggling so hard to keep breathing.

"Elena, take off your necklace." she tried to do as he ordered, but her hands were starting to tremble and become clumsy. It was then that Damon realized that she was not wearing it. It would have been something for him to wonder about, if he had the time.

He gripped her shoulders, "Elena, look at me." Dully she did as he ordered.

"All right, that's it; there is a good girl…" His eyes darkened as he locked eyes on hers. "You are going to completely relax, ok, that's it. Now, take deep breaths, no, no, don't tense up, stay relaxed. That's it, deep slow breaths. You can do it." He smiled as he saw that his compelling her was having some effect. Her breathing slowed from the shallow puffs to a more normal, even rhythm. When he felt that she had recovered enough from her attack he dropped eye contact.

"Thanks." Elena said. Damon curtly nodded as he got back to his feet. "Where is your medicine for that?"

She shook her head, "I am not sure, I have not needed it for so long that I kind of lost track of it, I am not even sure if it is good anymore."

He sighed impatiently, "Elena, that is just careless, you know you have a potentially life threatening condition, yet you cannot be bothered to be responsible enough to keep the medication with you?"

His tone stung her, but she did have to admit he had a point. But being Elena she could not resist the temptation to fire back at him.

"What is this? Damon, the self-serving psychopath… concerned? For a Human? Careful… others will think you …have gone soft. Huh, tough guy?" The words lost much of their sting due to her still frequently pausing for breath.

Damon paused, and then looked up at her. For a moment she was shocked at the look in his eyes. She had expected, anger, sarcasm, a witty repartee, but instead he looked, almost vulnerable.

"You get used to it you know, the blood, the suffering, the pain, it becomes normal. So if you think of it, I am not actually as much of a monster as one thinks at first, I am simply a product of abnormal circumstances." His voice was soft. Then, suddenly, he was back to himself. "Ok, if you think you will be alright I will go to the store and pick up some of the medication you need."

"You need a prescription for it, Damon." Elena informed him as he made for the door.

"You might, but I am Damon, the self-serving psychopath, I do not need a prescription. Bye now!" And just like that he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Rape Chapter 5**

**By Ivycat**

Elena stayed in her bed, not caring to bring on another episode. She had not been there long when Bonnie came into her room.

"Elena! Where've you been? What happened? Damon texted a SOS but didn't say what was goin' on." She sat on the bed, "you don't look so good, got a cold or something? Elena rolled her neck, "Yeah, I thing I've got the flu. And the Asthma attack didn't help either." Her voice was stuffy from the congestion

"Ouch" Bonnie replied, "that's no good, I didn't know you still had problems with that now."

"So what happened? Where were you, why'd you just run off like that?"

Elena took a breath, then looked up and met the eyes of her friend. "I don't know Bonnie, I just don't know. I did not run off though. Damon said that I disappeared for a day, and I'm missing a day, but how do I find out what happened in those missing hours? Where was I? What happened? Who did it? So many questions, Bonnie, and never any answers to them.

And I hurt all over; I feel like I am dying, I jus' wanna sleep." Elena looked at Bonnie pitifully, her eyes ringed and dark.

"I know," Bonnie put her arm around her. "You just rest and I'll be here, I've got Grams book with me, maybe I can find something to help you feel better, or even reverse the amnesia."

Elena nodded and once more slid into her bed, and Bonnie sat in the chair lost deep in the book. The sunlight stretched and grew more golden as it entered the room, Elena was sleeping fitfully, Bonnie was lost in the pages of spells from times past.

Damon had gotten the inhaler with no problems of course. He went directly to Elena's house to deliver it.

* * *

He did briefly think of going to see Stefan, but decided that he did not want to leave Elena alone as long as he could help it. True Bonnie was with her, but at best she was only 'semi-competent' not that he intended for her to find out that he thought of her as that. As she had pointed out very effectively, she was capable enough to take him down whenever she had the whim. No, better to stay on her good side, if she even had one for vampires, which was questionable.

He noticed that Jenna was not at home yet, that would make his coming even easier. He could use easy after the past few days.

It had not escaped him that almost as soon as he had given his word to Stefan to keep Elena safe she had disappeared.

It made him furious. First that he had been almost forced to pledge his word to keep her safe. Curse him! Stefan knew that Elena was the one person that he, Damon, would die to protect. And second, that no sooner than he gave his word to keep her safe she disappeared, making his promise as empty and hollow as his soul.

Elena was really a trying individual. She was moping, self-absorbed and inclined to melodramatic out bursts. Not to mention she was completely wrong in her choice of brothers. There was cool, handsome, debonair and charming, then there was, well, Stefan. The only thing there was to recommend Stefan was that he too was moping, and he had the whole, 'Holier-than-thou' thing down to a 'T'.

But enough of this, the problem at hand was of the time Elena had been missing. Just exactly what had happened to Elena during the time she was missing? Who had taken her? Why? It could be a consequence of her deliberately exposing herself to the underworld as a Petrova Doppelganger. Stupid, stupid CHILD! She had no idea the danger that she had put herself in by announcing herself. Sure, the silly thing probably did feel as if that she knew all about the underworld since she had dated a vampire and been exposed to certain elements of the supernatural. She probably thought that she had seen so much loss and heart-ache that there was nothing more to hurt her. How wrong she was. Sure, he had killed a few of her friends incidentally along the way, that was one of the side effects of being around him, but what she did not know was that BOTH brothers had actually been trying to shelter her from the supernatural realm. Had been trying very hard in fact. And the presumptuous girl actually thought he was the monster! He gave a short barking laugh, his eyes hard. She had no idea what most vampires were really like. If he had really been a monster among his kind he would have laid the town waste by now. There would have been wholesale slaughter of the humans, covered by a wild fire, or some other occurrence. But no, he kept a low profile like his brother, blended with the town. It had been a form of amusement to see how suspiciously Stefan had regarded him. His brother was almost frantic at first trying to get to the bottom of what he was up to. And in fact, it had been nothing more sinister than boredom; he wanted to try the novelty of being on the straight and narrow like his brother. The fact that Elena was almost identical to Katherine was, interesting, but not much more than that.

He scowled and rubbed his neck in frustration, He could hear the breathing of the two girls up stairs, and the occasional rustle of the heavy leaves of the book that Bonnie was perusing, no doubt trying to find some way to uncover what had happened to Elena during the missing day.

She just did not get up and walk away, then reappear back in her bed a day later alone and unaided. So she had to have been abducted, so now the question was, by whom? If it was a vampire after the doppelganger, why return her? That made no sense at all, it was as illogical as Elijah killing the two vampires and leaving the two of them untouched.

But who would take her then put her back unharmed? A school prank could not leave her with any memory. There was just no logic to this. Anyone who wanted her would have no motive to bring her back.

He huffed impatiently. It seemed one of the only things to do was rely on Bonnie to somehow unravel this mystery.

His ears picked up the quick light steps of Caroline as she hurried up the walk, which meant that school was over and she was here to see about her friend.

He opened the door for her before she rang the door bell.

Caroline got directly to the point.

"She's here?" He nodded and jerked his head towards the stairs. "Asleep. Bonnie is with her."

She looked at him for a moment before giving an impatient movement of her shoulders and hands.

"Well?" her tone was annoyed.

"Well what?" He goaded, knowing full well of her question, but sidestepping the unpleasantness of admitting he had no idea what had happened.

"You know very well 'what'. What happened, where was she? Is she ok? When did she get back? How is she? Who found her?"

Damon raised his eyes sardonically. "Wow, I'm impressed, still going out for the journalism major?"

She looked at him blankly. "What are you talking about? I'm asking about Elena."

"You know, the five 'H's' or 'W's', who, what, when… Oh, never mind." He rolled his eyes. "She got home sometime in the night, I came as she was trying to drive over to see Stefan, she seemed to have no idea that she had lost a day. Had no idea she had been gone. She seems fine, other than having a cold or the flu, oh, and having some kind of respiratory attack that nearly killed her. She's asleep right now, why don't you go up and see if the witch has found any way to help us find out what happened?"

Caroline's eyes gleamed maliciously for a moment, "Careful, someone might think you are scared of Bonnie."

He lifted his chin and stared her down, "I'm NOT scared of her, I just get the impression that she does not like me that much."

Caroline gave a mock gasp, "Not like you? You can't be right about that!" Then she gave a grin over her shoulder as she went up the stairs.

When she got up the stairs she softly opened the door and slipped in the room.

Bonnie looked up and smiled at her as she sat on the window seat.

"Damon wants to know if you found anything to help us figure out where Elena has been." She softly whispered.

Bonnie shook her head.

"No, but I think I can now cure warts, make a dry cow have milk and keep potato bugs off a garden."

"That's no help." Observed Caroline flatly.

"Oh, gee, really? I don't think I knew that yet, thank you!" Bonnie snipped, irritated at the stating of the obvious.

"Well, I'm just saying…" Caroline defended.

Bonnie shook her head,

"Nothing I read seems even close to helping us find out what happened."

Caroline shrugged,

"Well, why don't you hypnotize her?"

Bonnie was torn between looking scornful and amused.

"I don't even know how to do that!"

"Yeah, but I could compel her to remember, that's sort of like being hypnotized."

Bonnie looked thoughtful, "But it's pretty clear that a vampire abducted her, there is no other way that she could have lost her memory like that, so can she even be 'de-compelled'? Wouldn't it like, cancel each other out?"

"I don't know…" Caroline looked uncertain.

"Let's try it." A new voice broke in on the conversation.

Both girls jerked around and stared at Elena.

She looked sleep bleared and pale, but there was a glint of the iron resolution in her eyes that both friends recognized.

"I'm serious." Elena insisted. "If I've lost a day I wanna know what the hell happened. We could at least try. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

"Are you sure?" Bonnie demurred. Elena sighed impatiently, "Yes I am sure, come on, let's get this over with."

"Ok," Caroline chirruped as she approached the bed and sat down. "Ok, take off any vervain you have on you. Now look at me, her eyes widened a fraction as she looked into Elena's eyes. "Umm, ok. What is your name?" Bonnie made a "what the hell?" look at Caroline who waved her off impatiently.

"Elena answered, "Elena Gilbert"

Caroline smiled happily , "Now, tell me what happened to Shugi my sock monkey when we were in third grade. Did you take it?"

"No, Jeremy did, he was mad at you for telling on him so he took him and went to the lake floating boats, Shugi 's boat flipped and he was lost. I was so mad at him for that, especially after you began to blame me, but I promised him I would not tell…"

Bonnie broke in, "Come on Caroline, you can't just do that to her! We are only supposed to be finding about what happened to her, get back to it or I will call it all off! I mean it!" Caroline sighed,  
"Whatever, I was just trying to make sure it was going to work. Ok, now Elena, you are going to remember what happened the night you went missing. What happened?"

Elena sat still her face blank. Bonnie and Caroline looked at each other, then Elena spoke. "I am thinking of Jeremy, how he was terrified of all the costumed figures at Disney land. I have never let him know that I know he is terrified of Donald Duck still…" She stopped.

Caroline looked puzzled. "That's it? Donald Duck?"

Bonnie shushed her, "Ask her where she is? Is she in danger? Who does she see?"

Caroline leaned closer, "Elena, where are you? Do you feel afraid? Do you see any people?"

Elena wrinkled her brow, seeming to have some internal difficulty over this, then, "Dark, night. There is always one danger that you cannot out run, the danger from within."

That was all they were able to get from her, and it was no help at in discovering what had happened. They were back to trying to find something in Bonnie's book that could help. They decided to not tell Damon that they had attempted to reverse the compulsion; he would likely have been very annoyed that he had been left out of the loop.

Elena decided to try and get up for a while; she pulled out a pair of gray sweats and put her hair in a pony tail. This was not her usual standard of dressing, but somehow it seemed comforting, so she went with it.

She took some cold medicine and came down the stairs. There was already a meeting going on. Alaric, Damon and Jeremy were already in the living room deep in conversation. It stopped abruptly as she entered the room. She looked around and gave a half smile to everyone. Damon reached into his leather jacket and pulled out an inhaler and tossed it towards her. Instinctively she ducked and covered her face with her hands. "Wow, Damon, my sister really doesn't trust your throwing, does she?" Jeremy laughed.

"My throwing is perfect, thank you." Damon retorted, but he kept his eye locked on Elena with a strange look.

Elena bent to pick up the inhaler, and then sat down on the couch. There was complete silence as all eyes were on Elena. She could not take the silent scrutiny any longer.

"I am going to make some tea, anybody else want something?" There was a chorus of "No's" all around so she stepped away, glad to be out from under the microscope.

It was when she was pouring the tea that it happened. Alaric walked in to get some water, as he was walking past he put a friendly hand on her shoulder, "I'm glad you are ok, El…" There was nothing that was remotely threatening in his touch or mannerism, but she flinched and dropped the cup, splashing scalding hot tea over her legs.

"Hey!" He exclaimed. "I am so sorry; I did not mean to startle you!" But it was too late Elena had fled up the stairs to her bedroom.

* * *

**This chapter is just setting a few things up for the rest of the story, so I am sorry if you found it slow. The next chapter will be very dark and hard to read. Please do not read if you are easily upset.**

A.N. _I want to express my gratitude to all my reviewers; you guys are very supportive and encouraging!_

_A few of you have been good enough to point out that I need to use contractions more, I hope you will see a marked improvement in my former non-use of them in this chapter! (I also went back and corrected the former chapters)_

_I know some of you have asked why I do not disable anon reviews, well, this may be weird, but I strongly believe everyone has a right to their opinion, and I have a good many positive anon reviews, and one that is a honest expression of their feelings. Everyone deserves a voice, and some would rather be anon, that is fine._

_Re: "_An honest respectful review" _I am sorry if you were adversely affected by the __story, My intention was not to offend anyone or sensationalize the subject matter. I did try and be as vigilant as I could in printing warnings so that readers would be aware of the nature of the story. Again, sorry._

_There was a misunderstanding where a few of my readers were under the impression that I was not continuing because I was not getting as many reviews as I would have liked. The reverse is actually true, I am humbled and overwhelmed by the response to this story, I really have never gotten this amount of reviews per chapter before! I was writing an apology for the chapter being shorter than usual, saying I had lost my Muse in response to a vitriolic reviewer. But it is all good now, and will be continuing with the story._

_Ok, a few responses to readers. Yes, I am German and proud of it! So this is being written in a second language (And in my opinion, one that is so WONDERFUL for writers, so many wonderful adjectives, so descriptive!)_

_Was Elena compelled into amnesia about the events when she was taken? Yes. More about that in the coming chapter._

_As always, I welcome your feedback and opinions. Happy Reading!_


	6. Chapter 6

Elena's abrupt departure ended the impromptu gathering, Caroline left to go home, and Alaric went to join Jenna at a restaurant for their date. This left only Bonnie and Damon with Elena, Bonnie went up to talk to her, but when she knocked on the door Elena was sitting on her bed looking calm and composed, Bonnie looked at her cautiously.

"You want to tell me what that was all about?" Elena looked up indifferently, "I am not sure, I just knew all of the sudden that I had to get away, out of the kitchen. Don't read too much into it, I'm fine." She smiled reassuringly at Bonnie. Bonnie looked uncertainly at her, but had no grounds to push her further. She changed the subject.

"I think I may have something to help you get over your cold, can I try it?"

Elena gave her a 'Duh!' look, and then said,"Sure, I'm up for anything that will help me feel better."

Bonnie smiled at her uncertainly, "Ok, well, here goes, I can't promise anything." Elena threw herself back on her bed with a groan. "As long as I don't have to dance around naked I'll try it."

"Did I hear something about people dancing around naked? I think I want in on that!"

Bonnie rolled her eyes at Damon as he strolled in.

"Gee, Damon, ever heard of knocking?"

But Elena's reaction was the one Damon was focused on. In a moment she was on her feet and took one stride towards him, her face was contorted with fury. Then out of nowhere she threw a round house punch directly at his sculpted jaw. Damon never even stepped back; he simply blocked the hit by grabbing her arm below the wrist with all the concern of brushing off a fly.

He stared down at her with his dark eyebrows raised in more perplexity than anger, "Want to tell me what _that _was all about?"His tone was cool and unruffled.

Bonnie was on her feet beside Elena, her hand supporting her under her elbow, squinting at the vampire, ready to take Damon down at the slightest wrong move. She was not sure what her friend was responding to, but she was ready to join in the fight. Never the less, she was concerned and perplexed at Elena's bizarre behavior. She switched her gaze to look at her friend anxiously.

Elena was furious, How dare he come in as if he had the right to enter her room whenever he so wished? It infuriated her; it felt like, like an invasion of her privacy. It was also very threatening, causing her words to have almost as much fear as anger in them.

"How much of a pig are you Damon Salvatore? Does your mind ever get out of the gutter? Who said that you could just waltz in my room at any time with no-never-mind about whose room it actually is? You can't just walk in and out whenever you feel like it! There are such things as boundaries."

Damon raised his eyebrows a fraction more, he knew there was something more to Elena's actions beside him walking in and making his standard off hand, semi-flirtatious comment. Why would she object so strongly? That was his _thing_, the off hand, sly, flirts. She had rolled her eyes at him almost every time he did it with her, but never before had he seen a reaction of this strength out of her.

She was still glaring at him, as if she had not made up her mind if she was going to throw another punch. Whatever was going on it was probably better figured out away from the witch who was looking very ready to take him on, and he already had a headache, thank you very much.

"Well. I can take a hint, since you ladies prefer to be left alone, I shall oblige." He turned on his heel and walked out of the room, not sparing another glance at his erst-while attacker. He went down to the study, threw himself on the sofa and started to think back over the past few days.

* * *

Despite his rage at Elena putting herself out in harm's way, he **was** very concerned for her. And, he was well aware that if he had not been so worried for her, his mental diatribe about her earlier would not have been as harsh. But then, it was so much better to just be angry all the time, it helped push the annoying, weakening emotions out of its way. He did angry well. Had done it for, well, a very long time with notable success. But now, fear, worry, unease, and concern, all these were crowding on him at once, and it became easier to deal with if he shut down and only exhibited anger.

Damon's form slumped, but it was no use really, he knew it now, all the pretence, the inflaming rhetoric that he used when thinking about Elena. No matter the barriers he would throw up, how angry he tried to make himself be with her, the truth still lay plain and uncompromising. He loved her. He cared for her well-being with a ferocity that surprised him. He wanted to be as close to her as he could, to sit by her bedside and make sure nothing evil approached. To be her last image in the night and the first thing she smiled upon in the day. To be so in love was not something he had every prepared himself for. He had never considered that another beside Katherine could invade him so completely with their very nearness.

And that had not turned out well for him last time. And now, to further conflict mattered he was keeping her safe, not for himself, but for his brother.

Yes, life was a bitch sometimes.

And with that ironic thought, he tossed back some scotch and stretched out on the leather sofa.

* * *

Upstairs Bonnie was lighting a candle and preparing for the spell that would help Elena's cold. She might not have found the right spell to unlock her memory of the missing day, but she could at least help to feel better. Everything having been prepared, she beckoned Elena to come sit beside her on the floor.

Elena obeyed, sitting down across from Bonnie, her nose red and face pale, looking quite miserable indeed. Then Bonnie reached out and took her hands, her grip firm and cool. She closed her eyes and began muttering in Latin, the candle flickered then flared to an unnatural brightness. Elena gave a little gasp as she felt a searing heat shoot up her arms and over her body. She instinctively tried to pull away from Bonnie's grip, but Bonnie tightened her hands and continued chanting. Then, suddenly the pressure in her head was gone, her muscles no longer in pain. She opened her eyes and saw Bonnie looking at her with a small satisfied smile.

"Feeling better?"

"Oh my God, Bonnie, you fixed me! I almost feel normal! Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Bonnie smiled broader, "You are welcome, glad it worked. You still need to get a lot of rest and stay hydrated though. I did not cure you, just took most of the symptoms away. It will probably be tomorrow before you are one hundred percent."

Elena nodded as she got off the floor.

"Ok, I will nap before dinner time. Are you staying to eat with us? Please don't leave me here with Damon alone!"

Bonnie shook her head.

"Sorry, I have to get home. But Jeremy will be here soon, so you won't have to be alone, do you want me to stay till he gets home?"

Elena considered a moment, and then shook her head. "No, you go on, I will be fine. I am just going to sleep anyway. Thanks again!"

Bonnie smiled and left the room. On her way out she stopped to tell Damon that Elena was going to take a nap.

He did not even bother looking at her. Or opening his eyes for that matter.

"Uh huh, heard the whole thing. I DO have super hearing you know." He grunted.

"Whatever." Bonnie snapped. Then she left, trying to not slam the door, despite her irritation with Damon.

On the couch, Damon snickered. What would ever become of the teen vocabulary without that one word, 'whatever'? it was so delightfully ubiquitous. His mind wandered for a while as he killed time.

Then, from Elena's room came a sound that made his heart stop. Well, If he had one that is. He bounded up the stairs three at a time.

_It was dark and she was consumed with a feeling of complete horror. There was something out there, something evil and it was coming for her, yet she could not run, as desperately as she tried she remained in the same place, her legs thrashing uselessly, almost as if she were suspended in the air._

_The blackness was palpable, thick with evil, it was hard to breathe._

_The terror grew in intensity, till it overwhelmed her. Shrieks burst from her, great sobbing, shuddering cries that somehow did not sound human. In response the darkness contracted closer to her, she could not see it, but she knew it, she could almost feel the darkness touch her. Then came a chitnous sound, like millions and millions of bugs, climbing over each other, their legs rustling and scraping over their hard carapaces as they swarmed. She knew she must not let them touch her. Must not at any cost let them make contact with her skin. Her cries redoubled in intensity._

Elena's prone figure on the bed did not move, there was no thrashing or tossing of her head side to side on the pillow, like one would expect from one locked in such a dream. Her form was ridged, completely immobile, except for the sobbing shrieks, then there was a faint indication of motion from her bed, deep shudders gripped her frame, she shook till her bed was almost vibrating. Her eyes were still closed, but her face was frozen in a rictus of horror.

_Her breath came shorter and shorter as the darkness/evil, pressed ever closer to her. There was the realization that this was not going to end, there was not escape for her. A freezing paralysis of fear took hold of her then in her despair. _

_Then, there was another element in the thick fear and evil. One that could cut through the scrabbling roaches, the closing dark, the irrational fear. A thin silken thread wafted into the dream, light and ethereal, it was defiantly not belonging to the dream. Elena was vaguely aware of it, but it came closer and closer, the silken threads brushing against her body, twining around her wrist, brushing across her face, whisper light. Then the threads seemed to grow brighter, pushing at the pulsating evil that surrounded them. Then, from a distance, Elena heard it, she heard what the silken threads were, it was words, someone was softly whispering to her, reaching her in her dream state._

_She tried to focus in on them, but it was too fragmented still by her terror. She decided to follow the spun silk. The closer she got to hear the words the more at peace she felt._

"Come on, Elena, you can come out of this. Elena, listen to me, it's not real, not real. Nothing can hurt you in there; it's just your mind. Come on Elena, listen to the sound of my voice, and listen to me. You are ok; you need to wake up now. Please, sweet Elena, come to me."

_The soft gentle words swirled around her, and as the soft whispering continued, she was able to at last feel as if she could wake up out of_

_ the bad dream. She would have to thank the whispers for pulling her out of the dark abyss of horror._

Her eyes blinked, and then stayed open. She was in her bed and Damon was kneeling on the floor next to her, his eyes locked on her, his hands clasping her against his warm chest.

"What..?" Elena asked. She knew that she had a bad dream, but now she was awake it was vanishing like tendrils of mist in a brisk wind. She inhaled. "Why are you here Damon?" Her eyes were questioning.

"I heard you crying, you were having a bad dream. Are you ok now?"

She nodded.

"What was the dream about?" quirked Damon. Elena shook her head, "I can't really get a grasp on it, it was dark, and there were bugs, and my legs wouldn't work." She stopped, knowing full well that she would never be able to accurately impart the horror of the dream by mere words.

"You were terrified." Damon stated. "I couldn't get you to wake up for a while."

Elena nodded, then in a rare moment of vulnerability she sank down on the floor beside him and wrapped her arms around him, desperate for comfort. Damon did not resist, he pulled her in close and tried to project peace and security to the girl in his arms. He was not sure how well it would work, or if it would, but he was going to do what he could to help.


	7. Chapter 7

**This story has been moved to a 'M' rating for a reason. Semi-graphic rape/brutality. Please do not read if this will be upsetting to you.**

**NO MINORS!**

**As always, I welcome feedback at how I can improve my story.**

After a few short minutes, minutes that passed all too quickly for Damon, Elena pulled away from him, her face hooded and reserved as she gazed at him with remote eyes. Damon stifled a sigh, he knew he had lost the moment; he longed to rewind and freeze time, to once again hold her warmth in his arms, to be certain of her, to feel her close to him and know that beyond any doubting she was safe. When she pulled away from him it felt as if there were a chasm left in her wake, as if in that brief stolen moment of almost intimacy, that she had carved out a niche in his icy chest.

She looked at him, cool and reserved, embarrassed at her weakness, angry that she had sought reassurance from someone who regarded himself in the light of a rival for her affections. She tightened her lips, it was not fair of him to use her vulnerability to try and get close to her. But yet, looking at him as he rose to his feet she could not see any of the triumph that she would have expected from a competing suitor. There was nothing other than concern and worry in his blue eyes. She sighed, she was probably being unjust, she, of all people knew that he was capable of unexpected moments of dis interested self sacrifices .

She studied her bare feet, her toe nails were chipped and in dire need of a touch up.

She looked up again, tentatively, uncertain of what to say, words seemed to become tangled up with meaning, becoming only meaningless gibberish.

Did she thank him? Did she tell him to get lost for maybe, sort of ,making a move on her? Did she ask about Stefan and thus subtly remind him of her choice in brothers?

Her head hurt.

Damon looked at her for a moment, his lips slightly parted as if he were about to speak. Then as she stood in silence, her mind racing, the mask of cold indifference that she had seen so many times slid over his face. She winced.

"You ok now?" There was nothing in the words. They were flat, toneless. They seemed to fall like lead to the void between them.

She nodded curtly.

Then she turned away from him, avoiding the blue of his eyes, the questions that were flooding her with tumult.

She walked into her bathroom and turned on the tap, listening to the gurgle of the water as it flowed in to the cup. She reached up and got some aspirin for her head ache. When she got back to her room Damon was gone.

She sat on the edge of her bed, gripping her head, feeling as if her sanity was hanging by a thread. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. The deep utter horror of her dream still lingered, and it frustrated her that she could not adequately express her dream. It sounded so, innocuous, being unable to flee a threat, bugs crawling, dark, all very standard stuff, what was it that 'Puck ' had sain in 'A Midsummer's Night Dream'? "We are the stuff dreams are made of" Or maybe it was someone else in another thing?

But why was it so important to her, why was the impression of horror so lasting and strong?

She got to her feet and paced the confines of her room in frustration, as her anxiety increased so did the tempo of her steps, till a knock on her door made her pause.

"Who is it?" Her tone was less than welcoming.

"It's me." She opened the door and looked at her brother.

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if you could, you know, stop pacing, it's hard to sleep with you marching up and down." Jeremy looked at her apologetically, as he shoved a cup of Earl Grey tea into her hand.

"Um, yeah, made this for you, maybe it'll help you sleep, you know, since its tea and all."

She took it with a slight smile. It was clear that he was unaware of the difference of herbal tea and all other kinds. This being a black tea which was most certainly not decaffeinated. It was also equally clear that he was trying to apologize for his actions in the tomb.

"Thank you Jeremy, I will try it. Sorry about keeping you up." She took it with a half-smile, relenting towards him slightly.

"Yeah, no problem." He turned and shuffled back to his room, his feet scuffing loudly on the wood floor as he walked, a sure sign of a guilty conscience in him. Good, at least he seemed to realize the enormity of what he had done. She took a sip of the tea; it was very bitter, she made a face and pulled out the tea bag, dropping it to the trash can. Somehow, despite the bitterness, the tea was very soothing to her so she drained the cup as she sat on the edge of her bed. Then, suddenly she was seized by a sense of restlessness, she wondered if Jenna was home yet, if Damon was still in the house.

She pulled on a robe and slipped down the dark staircase. It was dark, she was not aware of how late it had gotten. She walked past the dark living room; she peeked out the front door and saw Jenna's car was in the drive, so she was probably back from her dinner.

She walked into the kitchen and pulled open the freezer looking at the carton of frozen ice-cream. It did not seem appealing at all. She closed it.

Then suddenly she felt dizzy, her stomach was heavy, nauseated. Exhaustion washed over her like a wave and she staggered. She thought she heard a sound, whipping around she yanked the fridge door open and looked around the room. It was empty the light streaming from the fridge in a ribbon, highlighting the cool air as it frostily moved. The exhaustion was imperative, she had to go up to her room now, or risk sleeping in a heap on the kitchen floor.

Her thought were growing fuzzier and more fragmented as she climbed the steps to her room.

She stumbled and staggered as she made it to the top of the landing; she walked into her room and fell on the bed without shutting the door or removing her robe. This was not normal fatigue, what had caused this? Her last thoughts were of outraged realization. Why had Jeremy drugged her? When she saw his sorry pasty face when she woke up she would really give it to him… She would tell, Bonnie or Caroline, both of them would gladly scare the pants off of him for doing this to her… She slept.

* * *

Down below Damon stood unnaturally still, he had used Jeremy as an unwitting accomplice, Damon had crushed a sleeping pill into the tea when Jeremy had his back turned.

He had a plan to put into motion tonight that required Elena to be asleep, and the vervain necklace she was wearing was an impediment in his plan. He had almost been caught be Elena when she came to the kitchen, but his speed aided him in avoiding detection. He had almost been forced to carry her to her room when the sedative started to work in the kitchen, but she had made it up to her room just in time. Now to implement his plan.

He made his way up the stairs and into her room, softly shutting the door after himself. He could not risk anyone coming in and interrupting him. He reached back and locked the door with a soft click.

He approached the bed quietly and slipped on some gloves then removed her necklace, placing it on the bedside table carefully.

He knew what he was about to do was beyond human ethics and morals, he also did not care, because, he was, well, not human. Stefan would _never_ have attempted to do what he was about to do. Too righteous, too moral, too, well, Stefan. And that weakness was why he was trapped in the tomb with Katherine.

* * *

Bonnie was in her bed slipping fitfully, she was tossing and turning, her subconscious mind in turmoil as she struggled to try and find some way to unearth the truth about Elena, and the time she was missing.

It was a tormenting thing to not be able to use her powers to help her best friend. What was the point of her having all this power if she could not apply it effectively to help? She desperately wished that her Grams was here, she was sure that she would have some way of getting to the bottom of things. She missed her, she missed her so much!

Then, suddenly a dream coalesced out of the turmoil of mental chatter.

_Bonnie looked around to see herself in a small room with plain, non-descript walls, then suddenly her Grams was standing in front of her. Bonnie gave a squeal of joy and hugged her. _

"_Oh, Grams, I have missed you so much!'_

_She was in her arms feeling the powerful woman's hug._

"_I know, baby, I know."_

_She started to ask about where she had been, what she had been doing, but her grandmother placed her finger tip on Bonnie's lips._

"_Hush now, you have to listen me." Bonnie nodded._

"_You may not think you are ready for this, but you must be. You are strong, much stronger than you imagine."_

_Then, Grams was gone, Bonnie looked around temped to call for her grandmother, but then remembered the need for silence. She frowned, and then froze. She could hear cries and she instantly knew they were Elena's. She started running to the sound, and soon was able to see her from a distance, but once she got to a certain point she could not get closer._

_She focused on Elena, then gasped in horror, she was suspended from a tree branch, swinging like a swing in the summer wind, she was sobbing and crying, blood covering her, it was clear that she was badly injured and going into shock._

_Then a shadowy figure approached Elena, Elena started to struggle weakly, but was unable to evade the approaching man._

_Bonnie stifled a scream with her hand as the man began to strip the clothes from her friends broken body. Then Elena became very still, Bonnie tried to move, tried to run to help her friend but could not move. Then the man moved closer to Elena, his intent clear. Bonnie gasped and covered her eyes from the scene that followed. But she was aware of the sounds of sobbing. Then she realized they sounds were coming from her._

Bonnie woke with a whimper, running her hand through her hair. It was just a dream, just a dream. She repeated to herself.

She took deep breaths to calm her racing heart and reached for her phone, she had to call Elena and make certain she was alright. She pressed the keys with shaking fingers but only got voicemail. Of course she would, it was the middle of the night after all.

She had to get a grip on herself, it was just a dream. Sure it had felt more real than any other that she had ever had, but it was still a dream, or was it?

This was more like a trance, like the ones that she had when Emily was contacting her.

The more Bonnie thought about the more she was convinced that this was not a mere dream.

She rushed to her grimmoire and started to read the passages, looking for some way to reenter the vision and get a clearer look at the attacker, some way to identify Elena's rapist.

Despite her fevered efforts she was not able to find anything that would help. She tried casting a spell to contact her Grams, but all she got for her efforts was a nose bleed.

By the time the sun began to rise over the horizon she knew she had to stop and prepare to go to school. She sighed and put her book away, and prepared to get ready, but a reoccurrence of her nose bleed at the table combined with her exhausted looks caused her father to call in to the school for the day.

She went back up to her room and lay on her bed, the horrific images from her dream played over in her mind keeping any rest that she might have away.

* * *

Damon took a deep breath as he stood over Elena as she lay in bed. Then, swiftly, surely, with no trace of faltering or hesitation he lightly placed his hands on either side of Elena's temples. Then, he furrowed his brow in concentration. What he was doing was not common; if a vampire wanted to read someone's mind they just usually did it from a distance. Of course such a thing was totally dependent on the vampire's power and experience. Stefan for instance could never do this. Of course, many vampires even older than him could not do this. This was a combination of pure skill and the ability to harness the enormous energy from the ley lines in Mystic Falls. But this was the only way that Damon could think of to unearth the truth behind her disappearance. He was about to penetrate Elena's mind and explore the inner recesses, to push past the walls thrown up to block her recall of the past events.

Was it an invasion? Yes. Did he care? No. After all, she would never know about it, so no harm done.

He applied a slight amount of pressure; this was harder than he thought it would be, Elena's mind was stronger and more resistant than he had thought it would be.

He concentrated harder and in his attempt to unlock her mind. She stirred uneasily under his hands; this was beginning to be uncomfortable for her, drugged as she was.

He backed off slightly, huffing in frustration, then his lips tightened and he resumed his efforts, this time not stopping as she tossed her head from side to side. This was not actually painful, more uncomfortable, like the beginning of a migraine, the pressure without the actual pain.

Then, there! He had done it; he was past the block put up by the erasing of her memory. His suspicion had been correct; it had been a vampire that had wiped her mind.

He closed his eyes and traveled down the pathways of her mind.

_There was Stefan, Stefan sitting on a park bench smiling at Damon/ Elena. Stefan was walking, smiling down at him/her reassuringly. _

Damon was getting nauseous.

_Bonnie laughing, they were eating ice-cream. They were dancing in the sprinklers at age seven._

_Caroline was crying, yelling at Elena for stealing her monkey, the child Elena desperately protested her innocence, but Caroline would not hear it._

"Come on!" Damon exclaimed to himself, "Get on with it, what happened?"

_Elena jerked in response, she had 'heard' him._

He shook his head in irritation, this connection was as delicate and tenuous as a thread of silk, he could easily overload her and cause her to wake, or she could panic and he would be bombarded with millions of thoughts, feelings, and have to retreat from the link himself.

He delicately attempted to guide her again down the path of her memory.

Ah, there it was!

_She was struggling to breathe. She was frightened._

Damon let a groan of impatience escape. He had to go back farther. The images came choppily, like an old reel of film, some things were complete blanks, others revealed in startling detail.

_Dark, it was so dark. It smelled like diesel and rubber, but that was it. He had forgotten how primitive a human's olfactory organ was. She was locked in a trunk, she was trying to claw her way out, to try and find the release. It had been filed off._

_She was beginning to feel claustrophobic, her chest tightened up in response to her fear. There was a Donald Duck?_

Damon could feel his anger rising. When he found out who did this, he would kill them, slowly.

_Elena was being pulled out of the trunk, her feet dragging the gravel tearing the soles of her feet. Then there was the painful straining as a chain was wrapped around her wrists and it was flung over an overhead branch and cranked tight. She swung helplessly, questioning her attacker. He strained to see the face of her attacker, but it was too dark, she had not seen him clearly at this time. She was asking questions, her voice was blurry, indistinct. There was a reply, but it was even more garbled than Elena's._

_This was frustrating; all he was able to determine at this time was that Elena had been kidnapped by a vampire. He already knew that, damn it!_

_He gave an involuntary jerk as the blows started, Elena was in agony, and he grimaced._

_Then there was a blank spot in her memory. God, when he found out who had done this he would rip them apart! She had fainted._

_He had to keep going; he HAD to find out who had done this._

_Then came a sound, a zipper being lowered. He felt her blinding fear, she started shaking, and then, slowly, she began to recede somehow. Things became muted. Then all emotion stopped. For a moment Damon took a breath of relief. Vampire that he was, he was living the moment as Elena, feeling everything she was. In this moment he was just as afraid, just as powerless and terrified as she had been. The emotion was harder for him to endure than the virtual agony of the brutal blows._

_He was jerked back into her past, her clothes were being ripped off of her. It hurt._

_He marveled at this, all the times he had ripped the clothes off of girls he had not one considered that it might be less than comfortable. But then all of his encounters had been willing, very willing, in fact._

_Then icy hands were groping her breast. He was filled with outrage, but still there was not the slightest flicker of feeling from Elena._

_It was all he could do to stay in the link, then there it was the face. Damon concentrated on it, committing it to memory._

_Suddenly, unexpectedly. The vampire thrust himself into her with a brutal thrust. _

Damon recoiled, his fangs extending in his rage. He had seen enough, he had the face of the person who had done this. He should leave. But he could not. He had gotten in too deep to sever the link quickly.

_The vampire continued to trust in and out of her, tears were streaming down her face, but she made not a sound, her eyes empty._

_The pain and burning increased as the tempo quickened. He tried to kiss her. She did not resist, but soon the vampire focused on her neck, savaging the skin like a dog._

_She grew weaker, yet the rape never stopped._

_Then, a flicker of emotion. Elena was screaming inside her head. She felt completely powerless, she was terrified, she was calling with every fiber for Stefan to come save her. Begging for the humiliation to stop._

_She fainted._

_She was hearing an argument. A feeling of rage grew as she realized that the humiliation she had suffered was a mistake. _

_She was just a pawn, yet again her life was a piece on a board to be disposed of as she wished._

_Then. A deep corrosive despair flooded over him. This was it; he had to break the link NOW._

_He_ jerked away, landing a few feet from the side of the bed. With wonder he realized his face was wet.

He was sobbing.

* * *

Rape Chapter 7

** By Ivycat**


	8. Chapter 8

_A. it took so long to update. I got the flu, then it turned into something worse, so I have been very miserable for over a week, and I was not having any luck writing. I hope you enjoy it none the less. I know I am bad with the cliffie... Sorry._

* * *

Elena started awake, startled by the thump of Damon landing on the floor.

"D'mon?" She slurred, unsure of her eyes, semi-rising on her elbow from her bed. She slowly swayed from side to side, still in the grips of the sedative.

"What are you do'in'? She queried uncertainly.

He scrambled up to his feet backing away from Elena, his eyes wide. He was panting slightly, his thoughts still in turmoil.

"Damon?" She was beginning to awaken more to the fact he was in her room and acting oddly.

"I, I have to go!" He stammered. His eyes flickered from side to side like a hunted animal .

"Ok, why?" her eyes were growing more curious.

"Because I have to go kill someone."

Then like that he was gone.

Elena yawned and took a deep breath, the incident seemed more and more like a dream, so she dismissed it as such in her mind.

But why was Damon so upset?

With that her last thought she slept again.

* * *

Damon was out in the woods running at his full speed, he was out in too short of a time, he circled back in and started screaming, ripping fully grown trees out of the ground, throwing them as far as he could in his rage. He felt as if he would explode from the emotions that he was feeling. It was like a living animal clawing inside of him, desperate to get out.

Damon let another roar as he grabbed another tree and pulled it up. (Later, Mrs. Lockwood would morn the tree as the oldest in Mystic Falls.)

He was about to go on a hunting trip trying to track down Elena's attacker, but then he reflected that he did not have a lot to go on, he needed more information. He needed to get into Elena's mind again to determine where this took place, where had she been taken? He needed to find a starting point for their trail. And on that note, how the hell had her abductor gotten past him that night? True he had been more focused on her getting out of the house, but still, he should have noticed if someone had come in and snatched her away. Shouldn't he?

He made his way back to the house in day light; he had found no success in detecting a trail around the house. He heard sounds of movement in the kitchen. It was Jeremy, probably pouring cereal. He took a breath and entered the house. He felt almost awkward; his unwanted burden of knowledge was a weight on him.

* * *

Elena woke that morning, for a moment her mind was a blessed blank, there was nothing that was in her mind, it was a clean slate for the day. But somewhere between her first waking breath and the following one, it changed. The day was no longer bright and good, it was dismal and grey. She was oppressed with a feeling of hopelessness and sadness that she could not rationalize. She got to her feet and pulled on her robe. Her sleep had been troubled with strange disturbing dreams, she could not quite remember what they were, but their impression lingered like a bad after taste. She could hear her brother in the kitchen as she descended the stairs; Elena shuffled in glaring daggers at her brother. He smiled at her for a moment before it faded into puzzlement as he detected her hostility.

"You look, not amused." Elena thought about confronting him about his drugging of her, but decided against it. She would wait and tell her girl friends, and then he would be sorry!

She tightened her lips as she thought about Stefan. She still had that feeling of something being very wrong.

"What's the matter?" her brother asked raising her eyebrows at her sulky silence. She stared at him moodily,

"I am a sick joke of an unstable universe, as if one of me did not cause enough havoc, it brought me back to make more of a mess of things. And now my boy-friend is locked in with Katherine 1.0, and now here I am 2.0. with a huge target on my back."

Jeremy looked unimpressed by her tirade.

"Wow, it must take a lot of work and energy to hate yourself so much." Then he flung her a grin, "Well at least you are not C3PO!"

She thought about flinging her orange juice on him, she could almost visualize the indignant shock on his face when it hit him. It made her feel just a fraction better. She stared at the juice in her cup and then looked up as Damon entered the house, without knocking, of course. She raised her eyebrows at him. He was filthy, his hair mussed and tangled, dirt was packed under his nails.

Bits of her strange dream from last night reoccurred to her as she looked at him. He had been in it. He was going to go kill someone or something. It was not that far off from the truth; he looked as if he had done some serious pillaging last night.

"Wow, rough night?" Jeremy asked, amusement coloring his voice as he took in Damon's disheveled appearance. Damon said nothing, his mouth compressed into a thin line as he looked everywhere in the kitchen but at Elena. She noticed this and concern for Stefan was her first reaction.

"Is Stefan all right? What has happened?"

He never bothered to look at her.

"He's fine." He did not tell her that he had not seen his brother since she came back, it was not like he could do anything about the spell, and he could not exactly get out for anything to happen to him, now could he?

It was almost impossible for him to look at Elena with the new knowledge, he felt shameful, dirty somehow. He almost felt as if he were in part to blame for the assault, as in fact he was. There was no use in denying it, if he had been as focused on protecting Elena from threats rather than guarding her in martyr attitude they would not have been able to get to her. So the blame for this did in fact rest squarely on his shoulders.

He turned abruptly on his heel and quickly vanished from the kitchen just as Elena had opened her mouth to ask another question. Jeremy raised his eyebrows as he shrugged at his sister. Damon was in one of those volatile moods that were best not to provoke.

Elena did not have the same compunction as her brother at the moment so she slid off the stool and followed him.

But right at that instant Bonnie knocked and came in the door. Elena paused and smiled at her friend then exclaimed

"Bonnie, what happened?" Her friend looked haggard and worn, as if she had not slept well in days.

"Nothing, I am fine, just a hard night, that's all." Jeremy looked up from his cereal in concern; Bonnie did not meet anyone's eyes, keeping her gaze on her feet.

"How are you doing?" She asked Elena, still not meeting her eyes.

"Better, much better, thanks. Almost one hundred percent. That spell you worked was awesome!"

Bonnie managed to force out a small smile as she took a peek at her friends face.

Elena looked tired, stressed and worn, but nothing beyond that.

Bonnie nodded her head and smiled too brightly."Great! That's just great! I am happy it worked, you know. I hate having a cold, it makes me so miserable. Hey, is Damon here? I want to talk to him, if not it's fine, I'll just catch him at his house, or maybe I will go see Stefan, I will see if he needs anything. Anyway, so glad you are feeling better, I really need to go now, my Dad does not know I am gone and he will be mad if he finds I bailed since I am supposed to be in bed sick. Ok, bye now! She too turned on her heel and left quickly. Elena and Jeremy looked at each other for a moment. Something was up with Bonnie. She never babbled, Caroline, yes. Bonnie, no, never.

"Well, that was weird." Jeremy said looking sourly after Bonnie as she left the house.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Elena huffed. Something was going on, something that she did not know about, she hated being left out.

She walked up to her room, her mind lingering on her strange dream about Damon being in her room saying he was going to kill someone? Why? Why did she feel as if there was so much more to last night than a dream? She made her bed up and heard her brother grousing at the flakes of dried vervian that had stuck to the sides of the tub.

"Elena! Really? Can't you rinse the tub out after your bath? That's just gross!"

"It's just an herb, rinse it with the shower and you will be fine!" She snapped. This was not shaping up to be a good day.

* * *

Bonnie pulled up to the Salvatore mansion and parked. She sighed, and then got out of her car. She was going to try and talk to Damon about what had happened to her last night. She could not tell Stefan for all the obvious reasons, Jeremy would be no help with it, and she did not want him more involved than he already was.

Elena was out of the question.

So the only one she could turn to was Damon. Her face wrinkled in disgust and for a fleeting moment she thought about trying to talk to Luca. But that would raise too many questions, questions she just did not have answers to.

She walked into the house without knocking; she could hear the sounds of someone taking a shower. It had to be Damon, so she sat in the living room to wait.

It was only a matter of minutes till she heard him turning off the water. Then, another ten minutes till he walked down the stairs. He did not look happy to see her. But then, he never was.

"What do _you_ want?" he asked tersely.

Bonnie could tell by looking at him that he was in a terrible mood.

"I need.." The words almost choked her as she uttered them, "I need your help, it's Elena. Something is very wrong."

That got his attention.

"Tell me." The words were ice cold.

Bonnie took a deep breath and told the story of how she had the vision last night, how she suspected something terrible had happened to her friend.

To her surprise Damon did not interrupt her or make snide comments during her narrative, which was in its self a surprise, once she was one with her narrative he started asking for all the details he could, if she had gotten a clear look at who had done this to Elena, where this took place at. All kinds of little details.

"Wait," Bonnie said suspiciously, "Why are you so ready to accept what I am saying? Not that it is unwelcome or anything, but you usually are not on board with the whole 'listening to a witch' thing. What's up?"

Damon looked at her his eyes hooded.

"Because, I already know."

"WHAT! How? Does Elena know? How did you find out? What exactly happened to her?"

"I did a, a kind of, mind meld-y thing to her, where I got inside her head and poked around, since I had the power to get past the blocks that were put in her mind."

Bonnie gasped. "Damon, that is completely, totally wrong! You can't just go poking around people's heads whenever you feel like it!"

"Well, actually, yes I can. And, before you make my brain start to bleed, let me just tell you that I do not do it often, I do not tell anyone I can do it, and I could make you very sorry if you decided to share my little secret." The menacing threat in his voice was clear, but Bonnie just narrowed her eyes at him, unafraid.

Damon stood to his feet and shook his finger at her."You see, that is the WORST thing about young witches, you think you are invincible because you know some party tricks, but let me tell you, it would be only too easy for me to sneak up behind you and twist that pretty little neck of yours before you could even know I was there."

Bonnie looked at him coolly. "But you won't. You can't break the promise you made to Emily." Her words were self-assured and smooth.

"Whatever." Bonnie was done with the subject. "What are we going to do about Elena? We have a pretty good idea what happened to her now. So how do we find who was responsible for it? How do we tell her?"

Damon looked thoughtful a moment, then said, "I was hoping you could do a spell to track them, you know, the scrying thing. Would that work?"

"Maybe," Bonnie mused.

"How do we tell her?"

"We don't." Damon looked at her as if she were being dimwitted at the moment.

"If she does not remember it then there is no need to tell her."

"Damon, she already knows it on some level! She may not know why, but believe me; she knows _something _is very wrong right now. Her jumping away from Alaric when he only put his hand on her shoulder, her attacking you for going in her bedroom unannounced. She knows something is wrong, even if she does not know what it is yet. We can't just pretend nothing happened!"

"Yes we can." His voice was positive.

"Besides, what if she starts to remember it because you unlocked the memories? Will that happen?"

"No, at least I don't think so, there are some, um, other, side effects but not usually that one." Damon looked slightly less certain now.

"What do you mean, 'other side effects'?" Bonnie glared at him.

He quickly changed the subject.

"Look, I don't have the time to waste standing here with you arguing, will you help me find them or not?"

Bonnie nodded, as much as she preferred fighting with Damon, she knew she needed to help him find Elena's attackers.

"Hurry it up, I do not have all day, or actually, that is the exact amount of time I have to find them, they are planning on Klaus finding and taking her, so I have to be back on watch tonight."

Bonnie nodded. "I can also spell the house to make certain they do not get in. Wait." She frowned."How did they get **in** in the first place? They were not invited in, were they? How did they kidnap her?"

"That's what I would like to know." Snarled Damon. "Now, tell me what you need."

Bonnie hesitated, "Why don't you go back to e

Elena's house and watch as I get what I need, I will call you when I have everything I need. I should probably do it at Elena's house, because Jeremy is leaving for school soon and I do not want to leave her alone."

Damon did not look happy. "She will be suspicious if we are hovering over her all the time."

Bonnie met his look firmly. "She will think we are being over protective because she tried to turn herself over to Klaus. Now, are you in or out?"

Damon shrugged his shoulders, "See you at Elena's!" he called over his shoulder as he sauntered to the car.

* * *

He arrived in the living room silently, wishing to observe Elena for a few seconds but she huffed from the couch. "Ever heard of knocking?" Except that she was not about to assault him, it was Déjà vu.

Damon actually looked startled. "How did you know I was here?"

Elena shook her head at his inane question. "I heard you." She turned and looked over the back of the couch at him. "Why?"

"No, you didn't." He contradicted rudely. "I do not make a sound unless I want to"

"Well, you did, I was sitting here and I heard, um, I heard…"

She trailed off into silence a suddenly wary look on her face.

"See, you did not hear anything."

Elena was blinking at him in stunned silence, looking as if she had forgotten he was in the room.

He looked at her with a flash of concern. "Elena?"

She shook her head slightly. "Sorry."

He took a deep breath, being around her after he knew was not easy. But he would not tell her, she did not need to find out about it at all. He would deal with this his way. True, the emotions were hard to control; he was not used to feeling things so closely, so immediately. But he was a vampire for God's sake. He could do this!

He vaulted over the arm of the couch and landed in a sitting position beside her.

"What are we watching?" She looked annoyed but made room for him to sit beside her. "Local news."

"Hmm, interesting, anything going on?"

"Some kind of freak lightening storm knocked over a bunch of trees in the woods near here."

"Weird." And he focused on the news, it was clear they really had no idea what had caused it; he looked over at Elena out of the corner of his eye. She was sitting curled up in faded sweats; it was not a common thing for her to wear. He frowned as he wondered why she had departed from her usual dress. She stirred uncomfortably, looking at him, his eyes dropped instantly; he somehow could not bear to look into her eyes.

She shrugged at him and turned back to the TV, her mind wandering. She had been under a lot of stress the past few says, that was the only reason she could account for the unbelievable idea that she had almost thought she could hear Damon in her head when he first came in, not like she could hear his thoughts, more like she could feel his approach in her head. It was absurd of course. There was no way that could happen.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He did look like something was really bothering him. The blaring of the TV caught her attention, why is it that advertisements are always so much louder than the shows? She hated how they punched up the volume on them.

She reached over Damon to retrieve the remote and turn the volume down. Her hand grazed his shoulder, and in an instant her world was turned upside down in such a way that it would affect her forever.


	9. Chapter 9

Suddenly, clearly she seemed to be a spectator to a scene in a horror movie, only she was the star.

She observed everything in a few seconds of time. She never paused to consider how so much information had been absorbed in such a impossibly short amount of time.

Then she knew everything, all the details of how Damon felt when he discovered she was gone. Experienced his rage and fear for her.

Understood that he had entered her mind to gain the truth, and fully realized the awful truth itself.

She gave a gasp and rocked back, jerking her hand from his shoulder. Her eyes were wide.

In a instant Damon had grasped her chin and looked at her.

He was worried that she was experiencing the uncommon side effect-the ability to read the other persons thoughts. Elena realized, as his thoughts rushed over her. He was not sure what to do…How did he react if she found out?

Then, as their eyes met he knew, he knew she knew, that every thought and memory of his, every experience, was transferring from him to her. He jerked away.

Elena sat frozen, her lips moving slightly.

She was caught in a vortex of chaos, thought, images, memories, all swirled around her in such an rapid pace she was unable to process them.

"Damon…" She gasped. Reaching for him instinctively, it was like the last clutch of a drowning person who knows they are going down for the last time.

He jerked farther away, if she was able to read him through physical contact he had to prevent that at all costs. There were a few stories of humans who had been affected this way… And he vowed that Elena would not become one of them.

Images of her as a mad woman, driven insane by the remembered, second hand recollections of a demon, caused him to wince.

A humans mind could not handle the sheer volume or depravity of what had just been essentially "downloaded" into her mind. Would she even remember the rape? When confronted by all the other things stored in his mind, would that even register with her? Or would she even care?


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N. Sorry it has taken so long for these updates, I have been having migraines very frequently and those make it so much harder to write in a second language, at least for me. I posted a short chapter last time because I feel it was better than making my readers wait longer for a more extensive chapter. I promise this will be longer, and hopefully more satisfying for all of you.**

So much was going on in her head that it seemed impossible to sort through it all. She rocked back on the couch, staring at Damon. Her eyes wide and panicked. The scenes, or more accurately, the memories that Damon had retrieved, that had taken place during her abduction started to replay in her mind, she shook her head trying to deny the validity of her memories. It was too impossible to absorb, this could not be what had happened! There had to have been some sort of mistake. This could not have happened to her! She stood up quickly and backed away from Damon, almost falling backwards as she tripped over the coffee table.

Quick as a flash He reached out to steady her, but pulled his hand away at the last second, remembering in frustration that he could not touch her.

Her breath was coming short and fast.

Her eyes wide and appealing.

"Damon, what is happening to me?"

At least those were what the words said, but really the sub-text was she was begging him to tell her that this was all not real, it was a mistake, a cruel joke that was being perpetrated on her. For him to do anything but confirm the validity of what was happening to her then. But, in the next second all hopes of it being anything but real were utterly swept away.

It was a weird moment of almost déjà vu, but it was not her memories, they were Damon's, in a second she was bombarded with images. Images of others, men, women, varying ages, all with the same bewilderment she felt in this moment. Victims. They all had that same look, right before Damon had ripped their throats out. There were so many, so many of them. There were flashes of them, blood drained, looking flat and waxy, lifeless. These were the victims that Damon had not bothered to compel, had thought of as disposable, like she regarded the wrappings of fast food.

This concept was so alien to her. She almost could not comprehend it, but there it was, in her head, and some part of her, the part Damon had imparted, could regard it with dispassion. That fact shook her even more than the bloody images had. What did this mean, was she still in there? How could she be faced with everything from Damon's mind and still remain herself? How did she deal with this!

Then she remembered the rape again, saw it from Damon's eyes, felt his rage and fury, and her terror, but it was from a disdance.

She felt her stomach heave. She clasped her hand over her mouth. She looked about the room wildly, seeking escape. She knew she could no longer remain in her current location, it was impossible. She needed to get away. She turned on her heel and ran out the door. Damon made no move to follow her. He stood as if rooted to the ground watching her flee, knowing the thing she was most desperate to evade, the evilness she had just been witness to, would not be shaken. He should know.

It was almost with regret that Damon watched her in her desperate attempt to evade the memories. His memories. She was not such a one to carry this knowledge around. What would it do to her? Could her mind survive the onslaught it was now undergoing? In addition to the memories of her abduction and rape.

His eyes were dark and full of rage as he turned and exited the house. He had to try and put this right.

Elena ran down the street, she had no destination, no fixed idea of where she was going, she just knew that it was imperative that she run and not stop. There was a car pulling up beside her, she hardly noted it in her turmoil. The window rolled down.

"Elena." The voice was grim.

"Get in."

Elena looked at her friend. "Bonnie…I…I…"

"Get in." Bonnie repeated.

Elena took a deep breath and nodded, sliding into the passenger seat.

"You know." Bonnie stated it as a certainty, not as a question.

Elena stared straight ahead. She was caught up in a nightmarish flood of memories that seemed to be trying to suck her down into the darkness of oblivion.

"Princess of Darkness." Damon had called her. Well, he was well on his way onto making it true. Was all this in his plan? Was this how he drew her closer to him? By forcing her into a bond that would destroy her humanity?

She felt as if she would choke.

"Bonnie, I was, I was…"

Bonnie looked at her out the corner of her eyes.

"How did you find out?"

Elena turned to her; it suddenly occurred to her the implications of the words Bonnie said. They meant that she had previous knowledge of what had happened to her, how long had she known that she had been raped? That was not just something you kept from someone! Rage bubbled up in her.

"How long have you known?" Her words lashed out, clearly telling Bonnie how angry she was. Bonnie kept her eyes on the road in front of her.

"Only last night, it was like a dream or trance or something, I knew something was wrong, I just did not know what. I don't really know how it happened, it just did. I 'm SO sorry Elena..." Her voice trailed off as she blinked back tears.

"I wanted to tell you, but Damon said 'No'. "

"And just how, exactly did _he_ find out?" Elena snapped.

"I am not exactly sure, I think he said it was like a mind thing where he went in and read your mind. It was wrong of him I know… I told him so, but you know him, he did not care."

Elena ground her teeth. So many memories screaming at her, so much death over the centuries, all Damon's fault.


	11. Chapter 11

"Where to?" Asked Bonnie uncertainly.

"How about your house." Elena responded woodenly. Bonnie looked at her, her voice was flat as she tried to keep any unwonted emotion out. "Ok." She responded, turning her car towards her house. "I can say you are coming over to help me catch up in class today. My dad will believe that since I was supposedly sick this morning."

Elena's eyes did not waver from looking out the window, she did not ask for the story behind Bonnie staying home from school.

Bonnie could not help but look at Elena out of the corner her eye as she drove, but there was never any change in the unnatural stillness of her friend, nor a flicker of emotion. This was beginning to be slightly unnerving to Bonnie.

Bonnie pulled into her drive; she had a moment's hesitation as she had the urge to open the door for her friend. But she knew that it was not a good idea, if she was overly solicitous it could not help but illustrate the calamity that had befallen her. Bonnie suppressed a sigh as she saw Elena wearily slide out of the car and trudge to the house without a backward glance. Bonnie followed her inside the house. Elena walked straight into Bonnie's room.

She sat on the edge of her bed and held her head with her hands.

Bonnie walked over to stand beside her, she reached out to put a comforting hand on her, but Elena leaned away from it.

"Bonnie?" Elena's voice was tentative. "It's all here, in my head; I can't deal with it all. The memories of what happened to me. It's like a horrifying memory or a terrible dream that you can't shake the next day. Oh God, Bonnie. Why, why did this have to happen to me? I cannot deal with all of this! Can you help me? Can you do something? I feel all scrambled up inside.

So much chaos, Bonnie…"

"What do you mean?" Asked Bonnie, though she had a pretty good idea what Elena was talking about.

Then there was a sudden flash in Elena's eyes as she leapt to her feet, she kicked out at an errant pillow on the floor near her.

"How could this have happened? How dare he? It's his entire fault that this all happened!" Her breath heaved as she aimed a punch at the wall, it connected solidly, denting the sheetrock and bloodying her knuckles.

"Elena!" Bonnie stepped forward and pulled her friend away from the wall.

"Stop it; you are going to hurt yourself!"

"Right, because that has never happened to me before. What do you call rape? A walk in the park? A unpleasant incident? What?"

"What could possibly be worse than that? Oh, I know, maybe having my head crammed full of the memories of a century of inhuman violence and hatred?"

Bonnie stepped back from her tirade. She felt out of her depth, she had never seen Elena like this, never even thought of how to handle something like this. There was nothing in the best friend that taught her to help her friend through this.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Damon enter the room, Elena's back was to the door so she did not see his entrance, Bonnie motioned to him to get out, but he did not even so much as glance in her direction. Instead he walked directly to Elena. She turned at the sound of his footsteps, her eyes flashed as she saw him.

"This is your entire fault!" She shouted her eyes wet with unshed tears.

Bonnie winced at the volume; she was glad that no one was in her house at the moment to hear Elena; in fact she was worried that a concerned neighbor might call the police and report the noise.

Damon never faltered. "What is all my fault?" His voice was light, dismissive.

"All of this, everything, all the noise in my head, the death, rage, the attack, none of this would have happened if you had just stayed out of things and left me alone. Go away, just go away!

And to Bonnie's horror, the friend that never cracked, that was always the strongest of anyone around, dissolved into sobs, sinking to her knees.

Damon looked down at her for a moment, and then spoke over her sobs.

"How about trying to use some of that anger and hatred that you say is now inside you for something positive? Get enraged and fight! You are stronger than you think and smarter than you know. I just know that this is not the real you, this limp sorrowful human carcass that is sniveling around here on Bonnie's floor. Get mad! Don't let this one event dictate to you your life, there is so much more out there, Stefan to rescue, Klaus to evade, Elijah to kill. The old Elena would have been neck deep in hare-brained schemes to deal with them, I would have to go after you and swoop in at the last moment to save the day of course… But still, come on. Isn't there the slightest idea of a plan in there? It does not even have to be a good idea; I have showed that I am even talented enough to work out a way to save you from the worst ones you can think up."

"OUT!" Bonnie snapped, stepping close to her friend.

Damon looked at her mockingly, "Why, because you do not want her to hear this? Because you want to protect her? Get real, this is not something that someone can be protected from, you deal with it and get on with your life, or you don't. It is very simple."

He re-directed his attention to Elena.

"Come on, get up." He held out his hand to her.

Elena hesitated a second, then took it. Once again she was assaulted with images and memories, she gasped and tried to pull away at the mental image of an artery spurting crimson blood, but Damon grasped her hand harder, refusing to let her go. Then there was an abrupt shift in the mental image, there were flowers? Beautiful flowers, well tended ones, wild ones, but all beautiful. Damon had been very interested in horticulture before he had been turned. A trait he had been very careful to hide from everyone. But now he was opening that memory to her, re-directing his thoughts to those that would not traumatize her further.

Unfortunately Bonnie only saw one side of things, the side where her friend was struggling to escape Damon's grasp and his refusal to release her.

In a second she had hit him with every bit of psychic power she had.

It took less than a nano-second for him to realize what Bonnie was doing.

"NO!" He cried, his face twisted in emotion.

Bonnie had a half instant of puzzlement. Damon did not react this way, he took what she inflicted on him with anger, hostility. But always pride. He never cried out or displayed fear.

He was flung across the room like a rag doll from Bonnie's pent up rage. Then she saw it.

Elena was on the ground, her body tremor and shook as she lay on the ground from where she had fallen.

"You idiot!" Damon hissed as he flashed to Elena's side.

"What happened?" Bonnie was shaken.

"She is somewhat linked to me, you figured that part out, touch makes it more intense, so when you blasted me with your witchy power, you blasted your friend as well. Way to go on helping her."

"Oh God."

Then Elena stirred, her eyes flickered, then opened.

"Ow, what happened?"

Bonnie reached out and took her hand, helping her to her feet.

"I am sorry, I did not realize you would be hit too."

Elena shook her head.

"I am fine, don't worry about it."

Damon looked relieved and breathed a sigh of relief. Elena turned her attention to him.

"I am sorry I went off on you, its just there has been so much, and it all was so overwhelming…"

Damon nodded.

"So much happening, I don't know what to do…" She addressed herself to both of them in the room.

"I know," Damon's voice was low, "But whatever happens, I do know you will be alright."

Then he left the room in a blur.

"All right. Now, let's find a way to get Stefan out." Bonnie turned to her friend and smiled, then they left the room and into the afternoon.

_I was having so much trouble with this story I have decided this will be the last chapter for a while. I do not know what happened, but it was just like the story seemed to die, there were no ideas or flow, no animation to the characters. They became wooden and silent in my mind._


	12. Chapter 12

Elena walked towards Bonnie's car, they had decided to go back to Elena's house to try and figure things out. As Bonnie fumbled in her purse for her keys Elena gave her head a slight shake, the left side of her head was throbbing brutally. She rolled her neck and heard it popping.

"Elena.." She jolted out of her thoughts; Bonnie was staring at her… "I asked if you were still sure you wanted to do this."

"Do what?"

Bonnie looked at her in concern, "Go back to your house, come up with a game plan, find a way to release Stefan. Are you still up to it?"

"Yes, come on." Elena jerked the door handle and slid inside. She was furious, furious with Bonnie, Damon, Jeremy, everyone involved with this sordid affair.

When they got home Damon was already there flipping through a book, he looked up as they entered, he pointedly did not make eye contact with Elena, but she still flinched as she entered the room. It was very hard to define what she felt, it more of what she was not feeling, she did not feel discomforted about by being in close proximity to people who knew her darkest moment, and she did not feel… at all… her breath caught as she had a flash of memory. "…You can turn the emotions off if you do not want to feel, you just flip the switch…"

She walked up to Damon. "Is this what it is like? The empty blankness?"

He pursed his lips and did not meet her eyes, he made a show of studying the book he was holding, there was a growing pressure in her head, she winced and fell back a step from the pressure, he was trying to push her out, she knew as clearly as if he had said it, though he did not need to, because he had thought it it was now in her mind as is he had shouted it at her.

How dare he? How dare he do this? Rage flooded her, in a second it seemed as if she snapped, she fought against the pressure in her head and lunged towards him as if there were not a table between them.

"How dare you!" She was shrieking at him, pounding her fists on the table, "Look at me damn it, look me in the eyes you coward!"

He jerked his eyes up towards hers in a flash of anger that only added to her rage.

"How could you do this? Was it worth it? What makes you different from the rapist that used me, how are you different? You entered my mind with no compunction, no regard as to the consequences, you violated me just as surely as he did, you bastard!"

He opened his eyes wide in shock at her comparison, fury blazed for a second, then smoothed away leaving him looking like a statue as he attempted to watch the crumbling girl before him with dispassion.

He closed his eyes in a silent attempt to regain control of the situation, he recognized that his own anger was fueling her, that she was being overwhelmed by emotions that the young human had no way to cope with.

There was a squeak of alarm from the witch that almost caused him to open his eyes, but he retained his composure. BAM! There was a slight shudder from his frame as all one hundred and ten pounds of Elena hit him in the stomach. Instinctively he threw up his hands to ward off his assailant, too late he caught himself, his defenses down, feeling full emotion he made contact with both hands on her shoulders. She stopped as if jerked back by a unseen force. She looked up at him for a full second before the shaking started, Damon called for Bonnie, but knew that she could not reach them in time, he caught Elena in his arms as she fell, then stood back watching helpless as she shook and shuddered on the floor like a person in a seizure.

He heard Bonnie screaming at him to call 911 as if she were far away, he reached in his pocket and pressed the keys… it seemed mere seconds later that a gurney was rolled away bearing the girl he loved and was killing.


	13. Chapter 13

Damon paced and prowled the corridors of the hospital. Bonnie had not been allowed to ride along so he was forced to take her with him. She was the complete opposite of him, she sat in one place staring at the swinging doors in the waiting room, tensing whenever a staff member came through, them relaxing as they moved on past her.

Jeremy entered the room, "What happened, what is it? You were not specific on the phone."

Bonnie shook her head, " I am not sure… I I don't know what happened really. It was all so fast, she was yelling at Damon and then she tried to tackle him, and then she started shaking… and then I don't know. It's all a blur."

Her eyes became shiny as she struggled to contain her emotions.

"Hey, Hey, you did the best you could, I am sure she will be fine, Bon, okay?" He slid a comforting arm about her shoulder; she leaned into it and rested her head on his shoulder. A lone tear escaped and made its way down her cheek.

That was the way Jenna found them when she arrived breathless and panicking a few minutes later. She immediately went to the nurses' station to ask for news but was told to go back and wait in the waiting area. When she came back Bonnie was sitting up but clutched Jeremy's hand.

There was a swishing of the swinging doors as a man in scrubs came out.

He approached Jenna, "You are the guardian on Elena Gilbert?"

She huffed impatiently, of course he knew she was , it was a small town after all.

"Stan, what happened?"

He frowned as he gazed at his clipboard.

"Ms. Gilbert, does your niece have a history of drug use?" his gaze flickered to where Jeremy was sitting then back to Jenna."

It took her a second to comprehend what she was saying.

"What? What do you mean? Of course not! Why are you asking?"

The doctor paused a moment then forged ahead.

"Are you sure? Sometimes the family are the last to know something like this."

Jeremy stood up.

"No, no she is not, I would know if she was. Elena would never do anything like that! You know that!"

The man pursed his lips, "Tell me, has she ever had a history of seizure disorder? Is she taking any new medicines?"

"No, no she has never had anything like this happen to her before. No new medicine, nothing that could cause this." Jenna's voice rose from the stress,

"You have still not told me how she is doing. What happened, what is wrong with Elena?"

The doctor hesitated, "She is resting now, she seems to be fine, we will need to keep her to run tests and see what caused this episode, I have made arrangement for her to be examined by our neurologist in the morning, I do not see any reason you can't go in and see her."

"So you have no idea what is wrong." Jenna said flatly.

He looked down at the chart becoming absorbed in it; Jenna cleared her throat impatiently causing him to look up.

"Oh yes, you can go to the nurses' station they will direct you to her room." With that he backed through the doors and disappeared.

Jeremy was on his feet in a instant following Jenna .

Elena was laying in the bed, her face turned towards the window, her hair fanning out on the pillow.

"Hey there." Jenna approached the bed. Elena smiled and struggled to sit up the plasticized pillow slipping from behind her. Jeremy caught it and handed it back to her.

"How are you?" He asked awkwardly.

She shrugged, 'Muscles are a bit sore, other than that great. But they won't believe me." She turned to Jenna,

"When can I go home?"

Jenna smiled, "Not sure yet, they want to run a few more tests in the morning."

"Tests? I don't need tests, I want to go home."

Jenna took a breath, "Let's just wait and see what happens tomorrow, okay?"

Discontentedly she nodded, then turned as she saw her friend enter.

"Bonnie."

"Hey there!" She rushed over to give her friend a hug.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, they say I had a seizure or something, but I don't really remember it."

Bonnie smiled down at her friend, "Don't worry about it for now, just rest."

The rest of the day there was always someone by her bed, Caroline came and filled her in all the days news, she was to all outward appearance her bubbly self, but Elena could see a nagging worry in her eyes. When she tried to press her Caroline evaded, this was most unusual, Caroline could not keep a secret, everyone knew that, but she was keeping something from her. Elena frowned, she was determined to get to the bottom of this… tomorrow. Right now she just wanted to rest.

She slipped into a slumber, gradually her visitors left, Jenna being the last to leave when visiting hours were over.

When he knew she was alone Damon entered her room, managing to evade detection from nurses and staff. He swallowed, fighting the hunger that hospitals always gave him

The quiet hush of night surrounded him as he stood over her looking at the girl on the bed, lost in the moment, treasuring it. His hand stretched toward her face, then stopped short, a few inches from her face the hand caressed the outlines of her face close enough to feel the slight whisper of her breath on his hand. He could hear the beating of her heart, no it was more than that, it was deeper and more intimate, he could _feel_ her heart beating almost as if it was his own. His breath hitched at the long forgotten sensation. There was a slight quiver of his sculpted face, "_Ye Gods, what have I done?"_ He looked down at the sleeping girl, trying to fight off that which had been dawning on him, reality washing over him, he realized he would never be able to hold her close to him, the dreams he had entertained of being with her, they were forever out of his reach now. Even the simple pleasure of holding her hand was to be forever denied him, he would have to live with this endless yearning need for her.

His hands clenched spasmodically and he sank down in the chair beside her bed despair flooding him and engulfing him in its black depths.

On the bed Elena began to stir and moan, troubled. He could feel her agitation in response to his sorrow even though she was lost in the depths of sleep. He took a deep breath fighting to control his emotions as he backed away from her. He stopped at the entrance, watching as she quieted down. Then with a sigh he turned away from the girl on the bed and left the hospital. He fought the urge to turn back, to take one more look at the girl he had given his heart to. He knew he could not. For her to survive this he had to stay away from her. Ignore the part of him that would always yearn to return to her and find the piece of his heart he had left with her. To be near his saving grace.

He remembered how she had torn his walls down, tumbling them down as he fought to keep them up.

She filled his life like a ray of sun. She had redeemed him when all had thought it was a lost cause.

There was only one thing he could do for her beside putting as much distance as he could between them as he could. He was going to get his brother out of the tomb.

The road seemed long and endless as he turned onto it, oddly enough it was also blurry, quivering. A human might have thought they were looking out from eyes filled with unshed tears.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been two weeks since Stephan had been released from the tomb. It had been a hard time; he had been overwhelmed by the information that had bombarded him. He was heartbroken over Elena and her ordeal and furious with Damon for probing her mind and all it entailed. But what he was most angry about was the consequences, Elena was no longer herself, every day ne noticed some word or mannerism that was from Damon.

This caused tension between them, though there was no reason to be angry at her, he knew it was not her doing.

Damon had disappeared the same day he had released Stefan from the tomb. There was no word from him of where he could be.

The days were getting harder for Elena, every day she could feel herself slipping farther away from herself and reality harder to deal with, now it was hard to distinguish between her memories and those of Damon.

Thoughts intruded on her almost constantly bombarding her with images.

She became withdrawn and refused to be around her friends and family, even isolating herself from Stefan in the end.

She began to refuse food, at this point her Aunt had started talking of getting her to the Dr. for depression meds. Her grades dropped strikingly.

Elena was a mess, she was spiraling down and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Bonnie tried every spell she could think of, done hours of research, all for nothing.

Caroline had tried to reverse the effect of Damon intrusion, but for it was far to advanced for an inexperienced vampire such as herself to attempt.

After a consultation it was decided that they had to reach Damon somehow and bring him back, if there was any hope if this being fixed it was with him. It was a slender hope at best but it was all they had to go on.

It was heart breaking to see Elena curled up in bed sobbing, clutching her head begging for the pain and images to stop.

As a final desperate measure to have more time they began to sedate Elena with stolen medication from the hospital.

It was a hard decision, but one they felt they had to make.

Stefan used every channel he knew to reach his brother, and then at last, someone said they had seen him in Kansas.

Stefan went in search for his brother, though not sure what he could hope to accomplish by bringing Damon to Elena.

But it was clear; if something was not done quickly Elena would die. She could not handle being assaulted with the memories and emotions all the time.

There were times when her emotions swung wildly; when it was evident she was not herself.

That it was Damon's emotions at the moment that she was responding to. That was when they had to start sedating her. She was in her room under guard all the time now, mostly asleep after she had her worst outburst.

That was why Stefan was going across the country to reach Damon.

Elena Gilbert was going insane.


	15. Chapter 15

Rage.

Darkness.

Splashes of red.

Empty.

Alone.

Confusion.

Her head hurt. It always hurt now.

Danger. She was in danger.

No, her friends were in danger.

From her.

Because she was no longer Elena Gilbert, she was only a repository of over a century of hate, rage, lust and death.

No.

No more.

No more drugging.

No more hurting her friends as they tried to help.

She was done.

She could do this. This was her last hope to make things right.

* * *

She lay still. She never moved as the sedatives wore off. Gave no indication that she was returning to herself. It was hard, at times she wanted to scream, put her fist through a wall, cry that this was not fair.

But she lay still.

Not moving.

And it worked. She was not drugged.

Time crept by slowly as she watched and waited. The old Elena Gilbert would not have been able to do this, but Elena/Damon could.

Silent.

Still.

Plotting.

* * *

Damon sat forward on his seat; he desperately wished the plane could go faster.

He had been angry when Stefan had shown up, lurking behind him in the bar.

He did not understand, being connected to Elena and not able to be close HURT. It physically hurt, and the pain never healed. He could not bear it much longer; living with this pain was intolerable. His only recourse would be flipping the switch, turning his humanity off like a tap. There was one problem with that plan. He was still connected to Elena, and if he did that, how would it affect her?

Although from what Stefan said, he could have done it and not made a difference. The girl he loved was going insane.

Now it seemed to him he could not get there fast enough.

Something was wrong, the closer he got the more the cold, sharpness pressed in on him. It almost seemed like she was waiting for him to come. That she knew he was close.

Only an hour more till he landed.

* * *

Now.

Everyone was downstairs talking, assuming she was asleep. She saw a baby monitor close by her bed, not a problem, she could easily be quiet enough not to register on it.

Silently she opened her window, slipped out and onto the porch roof, then, down, down the rose trellis and into Bonnie's car. She always left her keys in the ignition, no matter how many times she had been warned against it.

She slipped the car out of park and silently rolled past the block, houses passing ever faster, then, she started the engine and turned on the lights.

When she caught a glance of herself in the rear view mirror, it did not look like her. Her hair had not been brushed in days; there was no color in her face, dark circles hung down around her eyes, aging her.

She was here now. She parked and opened the trunk; she only took out two items. The water shimmered and glistened under her as she walked farther onto the bridge.

She fumbled with one of the items.

Walked to the edge of the bridge, for a moment the wind whipped her hair around her face. Then she stepped off.

Anchored by Bonnie's bowling bag filled with rocks, tied to her with nylon rope, Elena Gilbert sank quickly to the bottom, and the only sign she had been there was a thin stream of bubbles that soon stopped.

* * *

The moon reflected serenely over the top of the water.

* * *

**Yes, cliffie I know!**


	16. Chapter 16

**DAMON POV**

The drive was agony; every second that passed brought a new sense of urgency. After what seemed to be an inordinately long time they pulled up in front of Elena's house. A glint of light caught Damon's eye, it was Bonnie's car rolling down the road, lights off/ Damon frowned.

"Stefan, I just saw Bonnie driving her car down the road with no lights?"

"Well, she is probably tired; she has been taking point on a lot of this. Can't blame her for needing some rest, Damon."

"No, it is something more, something not quite right… But I can't put my finger on it."

"Come on, Damon, we do not have time for this. Elena is in trouble and we need to help her. Let's go in."

They were met by all of Elena's friends grouped in the living room. Including Bonnie.

Immediately Damon went to alert and he and Stefan ran to Elena's room. It was empty.

Caroline and Bonnie pressed in behind them.

"What? Where could she have gone?"

The curtain fluttered in the breeze from the open window.

Damon swore.

"She has Bonnie's car."

"She was heading west."

He blurred down stairs with Stefan as the others scrambled into Matt's truck to follow.

The brothers slowed at the bridge as they saw Bonnie's car, Stefan swore as he saw the open trunk, he rushed to the side and saw a few bubbles coming up from the water.

Without a seconds hesitation Stefan vaulted over the side of the bridge and dove in the water after Elena.

The truck pulled up beside Damon as he leaned over and looked into the dark water.

"What is it? What happened? Where is she?" Caroline burst out.

"I think she jumped." Damon said raggedly.

"What?" And Caroline jumped into the water as well.

As the others gathered around Stefan surfaced with Elena in his arms, she was limp and not moving.

Caroline helped pull her to shore where she began cpr.

"Come on , come on!" She urged.

Then Elena began to cough and sputter. Damon sighed in relief.

**ELENA'S POV**

Her lungs burned.

Someone was pounding on her chest.

Her eyes opened. Suddenly she was filled with awareness of Damon. He was close. Very close.

She pushed Caroline aside and struggled to sit.

There was a flurry of voices, people were crowding around.

Then a feeling of rage simmered deep inside her.

She heard Stefan and Damon shouting. Damon was furious that Stefan had let her get this bad.

But there was more to it than that…

Bonnie was the only one left beside her as she sat on the bank.

The rest were gathering around the feuding brothers trying to break them up.

Stefan was yelling something and swung a fist at Damon.

Suddenly she was filled with clarity; she knew what she had to do. Bracing herself she stumbled up to her feet despite Bonnie's protests. She staggered towards Damon and Stefan, ignoring the burning pain in her lungs. She pushed pasted Matt; he looked surprised as she shoved past him.

"Hey, Elena, are you alright?"

She never slowed, she had to do this, it had to be done now, and the bubbling rage inside of her grew as the yelling intensified between the brothers.

She was closer now; she stooped a moment, and then stepped between the brothers. The fighting stopped instantly.

"Elena! What are you doing? Why aren't you with Bonnie? Are you alright?" Stefan turned to her his face creased with concern.

Never responding she smoothly and cleanly thrust the stick she had picked up into Stefan's heart. His face went slack in shock as he had half an instant to realize what happened before he fell to the ground, dead.

She felt the shift of emotion from rage to shock, grief, and horror. She heard Damon's despairing cry as he lunged to kneel by his brother's body. She backed away slowly, not caring that Caroline had her in an iron grip and was dragging her away.

It slowly became clear to her, dimly she was aware of what she had done while feeling Damon's rage. She gasped and covered her face as Damon still bent over his brother's body.

She did not resist when she was shoved into the truck and driven away.

Bonnie stood over Stefan's body.

"I just don't understand why she could do this."

"It was not her, Bonnie. She was just reacting to Damon's anger." Matt spoke softly.

He turned to Damon when he came and stood beside them.

"What do we do now?"

Damon was grim.

"First we bury my brother. Then I take Elena out of the country to a remote place, I know a secluded place in the Alps. We have to take her away from this. If and when a cure is found she can come back, but till then she has to stay away."

"But won't that be hard, not being able to touch her?'

"I never said it was easy, I just said that was what had to be done."

He turned and went to stand beside his brother again.

Bonnie dissolved into tears and Matt pulled her close.

"It was not supposed to be like this, Matt. "

"I know Bon, I know, but life is never like a fairy tale, it is messy, ugly and you just have to hold on till things get better."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then we take every moment of good we can and cling to them to help us in the hard times. Then we fight to survive as best we can. Just like Elena will have to. There are no easy answers. We just have to be bigger than the problems."

They started walking towards Bonnie's car as the cold moonlight shown down.


End file.
